Are You an Innie or an Outtie?

I just read a great blog post over at artofmanliness.com. I would highly recommend this blog to anyone, male or female. It is full of useful knowledge for conducting one's life in a noble and honorable way. The post was the third in a series on building resiliency. One of the main themes of today's post was internal vs. external locus of control. Locus is Latin for place. What this implies is where does a person place control over the things that happen to them in their daily lives. Are you responsible for your own happiness or do you rely on external factors to make you happy? When faced with a challenge do you take it head on and find a solution or do you give up and say, "I'm not smart enough" or "Why does this always happen to me?"

Studies have found that people with an internal locus of control tend to be happier, healthier, and more successful. They are leaders, learners, better at handling adversity and stress, and less likely to be submissive. People that have an external locus of control often let themselves be victims, blame others for their problems, and are more prone to stress and depression.

The most influential man in my life is by far my dad Craig. If nothing at all he was hard working, old-country Man. I capitalized man because he is what I believe a man should be. He worked hard for the people he cared about, he is a problem solver, and he relied on himself to be happy and prosperous. External forces may have worked against him at times, but he plowed right through them never letting them get the better of him.

Growing up I didn't have the luxury of feeling sorry for myself. I remember very specifically when I was in the sixth or seventh grade and my dad, my sister, and I were out shoe/clothes shopping for the upcoming school year. I wasn't able to find a pair of shoes that I liked and I was acting kind of pissy about it. When we got home my dad summarily put me in my place. He told me he didn't raise his son to be a spoiled brat and that I needed to basically stop being a bitch about things if they don't go my way.

I still look back on this event as one of the defining moments of my life. It was small and he may not even remember it, but it is still vivid in my mind. Whenever I want to give up, or feel sorry for myself, or blame others for my problems I think of that incident and do what I can to take control of my life. This is the man that dug out slivers not with a pair of tweezers, but with his trusty pocket knife. Mental toughness and taking responsibility for my actions were what he was all about. He was firm, fair, and never soft in raising me. My problems were my own and my own to solve. He let me figure out my own way. And I appreciate it every day of my life.

This difference in mindset rings especially true in the fitness industry. It is very easy to tell which category many people fall in to. Those with an internal LOC are very proactive in their health. They ask questions pertinent to long term success. They want to know what they should be eating, doing outside of the gym, and the best way to do things inside of the gym. Those with an external LOC want to know what pills they should take to avoid the hard work or proper diet, they don't do the small things outside of the gym that lead to success in it, and when they are in the gym they are very passive and don't give the effort they could or should. They expect me or other trainers to take them to the promised land. All I can do is offer a way there. They have to travel the road themselves.

We need to stop living like human "beings" and start living like human "doings".

This brings me to one of my favorite poems. Read it a few times over. Try to not be touched and changed. I dare you.

“Invictus” by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.