Saturday, March 12, 2011

Need Motivation? Not Anymore: 5 Movie Scenes To Watch When In Need Of Getting Jacked Up

We all have those days where we can't even get the thought of going to the gym and training into our heads, let alone the motivation to do it.  Sometimes it takes me a solid ten minutes of staring into the middle distance like some hillbilly mouth-breather looking at that purddy lady down yonder while laying on a foam roller to work up the strength to move the 15 feet into the weight room.  On the flip side of that sometimes I'm at home with the dog on the couch with no intention of doing anything other than that and some kick ass movie comes on and all of a sudden I want to go downstairs to Nitro St. Justice's Barbell Club & Gentleman's Lounge and squat until I've sufficiently worked out any and all demons.  Here is my list of 5 awesome movie scenes to watch to work yourself into an iron killing mad(wo)man.

5. Alec Baldwin in Glengary Glenn Ross


This scene lacks a lot of what makes the usual bad ass movie scene.  There's no guns.  No one dies.  No aliens/monsters getting their insides exploded.  Clint Eastwood doesn't rape some broad until she likes it like he does in High Plains Drifter.  But what this scene lacks in violence it makes up for in spades in testosterone fueled intensity.  There is no denying Alec Baldwin is the alpha male of the room.  Everything he does is done to display his dominance.  Jack Lemon's character, who is the basis of the character Gil in The Simpsons, is too easy and is almost not even worth his time, yet he is made an example of.  Ed Harris challenges his authority and is summarily put in his place.  Maybe your Alec Baldwin and you do things to display your dominance.  Maybe your Jack Lemon and are sick of it.  Display and assert your dominance or show everyone you aren't a bottom feeder anymore.  Either way, use it and go bust some shit up. 

4. Any Scene In Jurassic Park With a Velociraptor



If the thought of being eaten alive by a pack of velociraptors doesn't excite your sympathetic nervous system then you wouldn't survive a pillow fight.  Hunting humans is the ultimate game and according to Jurassic Park velociraptors are the Michael Jordan of that game.  Seriously, outmaneuvering a velociraptor is pretty much the apex of our evolution.  We have to use our large frontal cortex to plan and stay a few steps ahead of the game.  We need to use our large glutes, quads, hamstrings, and bipedalism to high tail it out of there.  And we need our ability to create tools and shoot the shit out of them.  If you're not training to be able to do this (lifting, sprinting, reading) then you'll never survive an attack from an enemy; iron, animal, human, zombie or otherwise.  Suck it up and survive, fella.

3. The Fight Scene From They Live


First off, this entire movie kicks ass.  The basic premise is that Roddy Piper is given a pair of sunglasses that allows him to see the world as it really is.  This is a world where all rich people and those in power are actually a race of evil aliens that keep humans subdued and poor.  All advertising has subliminal messages like "Stay Asleep" and "Submit to Authority"  He says, "Fuck that." and tries to recruit Keith David to his side.  What ensues is hands down the best fight scene in the history of film and probably fighting itself.  Once again we have a scene filled with testosterone fueled rage and aggression.  After this epic fight all I want to do is fight.  But I don't.  I take it out on the weights.  The weight has one friend.  His friend is gravity.  They are both my enemy.  We will battle until the end of one of our days.  Oh, and this movie also gave us this little gold nugget of awesome.


2. Rocky IV Training Montage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q57qB6Kwroo

If you hate this scene then you hate freedom, America, puppies and liberty.  There is not much I can say to this that isn't said within all of our hearts when we watch this.  This scene also displays the non-importance of fancy exercising machines and regimens.  Rocky had a barn and all of it's trappings and his closest friends and trainers.  Drago had a "state-of-the-art" training hall and an army of scientists.  Guess who won.  Your goddam right Rocky did.  If Rocky can do it in Siberia with nothing, we can do it in Suburbia with all of our modern advancements.  Go out and make America proud.

1. The Final Scene From Last of the Mohicans


There is so much win in this scene it's almost obscene.  If it were up to me this movie would win Best Picture every year for the rest of eternity.  Hawkeye doing the right thing and shooting a man who gave his life for his when he is in extreme pain.  Uncas fighting bravely but falling to Magua.  Alice Munro being with her lover in death.  Chingachgook avenging his son's death.  Magua getting his comeuppance.  And the whole time the celtic violin in the background make this scene my number one scene to watch when in need of motivation.  The amount of raw energy and emotion in this scene leaves me with one choice and one choice only, find an outlet for the raw energy and emotion that is now burning a fire inside me.

If you need motivation after this post then there is nothing I can do to help you.  In fact, you might be clinically depressed and I say that with the utmost sincerity.  Either that, or you'll never have the intensity to be good at anything and will live in safety and mediocrity until your dying breath.  Chose your path.

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