President's Day

Today is President's Day.  It is a celebration of both George Washington's and Abraham Lincoln's birthdays.  To mark the day here are some facts about some of our more badass Presidents.

James K. Polk survived a gallstone operation at the age of 17 before the advent of anesthetics and antiseptics.

Bill Taft was so swole that he once got stuck in the White House bathtub.

Washington only had one tooth at the time of his inauguration.

Theodore declared war with Spain even though he had no authority to do so.  He then went to Cuba and busted so many Spanish scrotes that he received the Medal of Honor.

Teddy also used to box with visiting politicians in the White House.

"Bully!"

Andrew Jackson is the only President to have been a prisoner of war.

In a duel with Charles Dickinson Jackson let Dickinson shoot him first so that he would have more time to aim.  He then said, "Tell that motherfucker goodnight" to everyone around him and shot Dickinson through the throat.  The shot was so close to Jackson's heart it couldn't be removed.

You're done son.

There were two misfires on two guns during an assassination attempt on Jackson in the White House.  He then proceeded to whip the guys ass with his cane.  He stopped only when members of Congress restrained him.

Zachary Taylor was a 40 year army veteran who got elected to the Presidency even though he didn't really care about politics.  He was nominated by the Whigs who thought he could be a puppet president.  When they tried telling him what to do he told them to fuck right off.  He went against many core Whig principles and told everyone that if they didn't like it that was just tough titties.

Zachary Taylor appears to be boiling in Rage-a-Hol.

JFK swam four hours to safety with an injured crew mate in a life jacket that he held with his teeth.

JFK more than likely snagged more tail while in office than any other president.

John Quincy Adams kept a pet alligator in the East Wing of the White House.

And now, the most badass presidential fact of all time:
During his funeral Andrew Jackson's pet parrot had to be removed from the church because it wouldn't stop swearing.

This song is based entirely on fact.

Song of the Day:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not sure if you are aware but I have just been shot.  But it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."