Jersey Shore and the De-Evolution of America

I'm going to preface this post by saying there are a lot of underlying issues that could and probably should be brought up and talked about.  I'm going to save those for later.

In my estimation the guy who created the show Jersey Shore is a genius.  He ranks right up there with the guys who invented the pet rock and Silly Bandz.  These people make/made millions of dollars with little to no effort.  I imagine the pitch meeting for Jersey Shore went a lot like this:

Creator: I've got a great idea for a show.  We'll take a bunch of uneducated, ignorant, mouth-breathing Italian/Americans, who are probably a more accurate caracature of Americans than you or I would like to admit, from the New Jersey area and we'll put them in a summer rental on the, wait for it...Jer-sey Shore! with no responsibilities, plenty of alcohol, and a bunch of psuedo story lines.  The unwashed, uneducated, ignorant, mouth-breathing masses of America will eat this shit up.  They'll adopt their catch phrases.  The memes from the show will spread like wild fire.  If we could make money off of the rise in fist pumping that is going to occur we'd never have to work again.  The potential is huge!

MTV Executive: You've got my attention.  You've got five minutes to tell me more.

Creator: Now I know what you are thinking.  "This will never work.  Americans are too smart to get caught up in the petty problems of some over privlaged twenty-somethings from the east coast."  Well I've done the research.  It turns out Americans are that dumb.  52% of Americans don't understand the concept that the Earth goes around the sun!  It's almost not even fair.  I'm telling you, people love pop culture and they love people who are famous for being famous.  Look at Paris Hilton.  Brings absolutely jack shit to the table yet she's on tv every-fucking-day!  These clowns will bring even less to the table except for the huge gobs of cash you and I will be raking in.

MTV Executive: You've got yourself a goddam deal.

And with that the Jersey Shore era was ushered in.  I already know what a lot of you wil say.  "It's like a train wreck! You can't not look."  I say, "Fuck.  That.  Shit."  Jersey Shore is a lot like a train wreck, a train that everybody is riding.  It is the perfect microcosm of the degeneration and de-evolution of America.  These people (yes, these people) are now looked at as role models and as the ideal.  My blood pressure goes through the roof thinking about the fact that right now there are millions of people who hope in their heart of hearts that one day they will be just like them.  Famous, tv show, party all the time, orange tan, dragons and crosses and angel's wings in silver or gold on every piece of clothing they own.

I've heard tell that some of them make $10,000 to show up and party at clubs.  Ten grand just to show up and drink?  I'm not going to sit here and say the usual cliche about paying cops and teachers more, but fuck me running that's a lot of money just to party.  I've also heard the short, fat one is a best selling author.  What could her book possibly be about?  How to get famous by being neither in-shape, pretty, smart, or funny?

There in lies the problem.  Club owners don't pay that so people don't show up and spend money at their club.  People don't buy books from author's who more than likely don't have anything useful to say (unless you bought Glen Beck's book.  Then you are probably a fascist).  These things happen because the average American let's it happen, wants it to happen, needs it to happen. 

I would bet dollars to doughnuts that the people that bought that book haven't read another in the last year.  I bet people that brag about being at a club with this person or that hasn't actually done an interesting thing in that same time span.  The fact of the matter is that most people go through life without learning a fucking thing.  They aren't at all inquisitive about their environment or the events that transpired to them actually being on this earth.  Most haven't done anything remotely interesting. 

We want money, but don't want to work for it.  We want to be entertained but don't want to follow a plot line that a four-year-old couldn't handle.  We don't want to deal with our own problems, we want to get lost in someone else's by watching "reality" tv.  We want to live in a fantasy land where everything works out, we're friends with all the right people, and we all go to heaven in the end.  Sorry Charlie shit doesn't happen that way. 

I know it's just some stupid tv show, but it's rapidly becoming a better representaion of America than anyone would like to admit.  Pretty soon we're all going to have room temperature IQs.  Pretty soon we're all going to wear Ed Hardy and have an orange spray tan.  I, however, will not go quietly into that dark night.  I hope you'll do the same.  Turn off the tv, pick up a book, and for fuck's sake, live your own life to it's fullest.