It's a simple equation. It is also the key to making food delicious and/or gaining weight. It breaks down like this: Food + Peanut butter or Cheese = Yummy. The theory states that the addition of peanut butter or cheese to any food will make that food better than it being by itself. Bored of chicken breast? Add some cheese. Like fruit? Add some peanut butter. I've been at the very least husky and, at times, fat my entire life. These are the things that I think about.
Want to give that ice cream a sweet-salty flavor but the peanut butter gets hard when you try to mix it? Melt the peanut butter in a microwave for about 30-40 seconds and drizzle it on top of the ice cream. The peanut butter will return to its original consistency once it cools from the ice cream. Hi, I'm Troy. I create solutions.
Like Manna from Heaven
Now, for whatever reason whenever I posit this theory to people they take it as a challenge to think of a food that disproves the theory. I bet you've already tried to think of one. Have you got one? No? Do you know why you haven't thought of one yet? Because that food doesn't exist. And even if it does, I sure as hell am not going to eat it. People have thrown all kinds of weird food at me, but I put them in their place by explaining the theory. Let's use worms as an example. I'm not saying worms and cheese (or peanut butter) tastes good, but it sure as shit is better than just worms. Bam. That sound you hear is your mind being blown.
There have been a few close calls though. I was worried about citrus. That was until I tried oranges and peanut butter. For that combo I almost had to change the equation to F+(Pb)or(Ch)= IJCAL (I Just Came A Little). Gummy products were also thrown into the fire (figuratively). One: there are peanut butter jelly beans. Two: Gummy bears are used to top ice cream, just like peanut butter. Three: Tried GBs with Pb. Awesome.
Even I will admit that this theory is just that, a theory. If someone can come up with a food that tastes better alone then I will change my thinking. For all you steak purists: Grow a set and eat some cheese dammit. If you can think of a food that would taste great with the addition of peanut butter and cheese, you're my best friend. If you are a girl, can you make this food? Yes? When can we get married?
The way steak should be
In closing I want you all to experiment and try different combinations. Be curious. Live a little. And for Pete's sake, eat something. You're too skinny.
This post was originally posted on 11.18.09