This Friday I Was Shakin' My Hips

I walked into the gym this morning all set to dead lift.  When I got there I got a surprise that put all that on hold.  My Shake Weight had finally come in.  Actually my Shake Weights had come in.  I ordered two for twice the workout.  I quickly removed them from their packaging and got rolled out.  I started out with a medium resistance and went for two minutes.  By the end my arms were burning.  My triceps felt like they were going to fall off, my deltoids felt twice their size and because I was standing on a bosu ball my abs felt rock hard.  I toweled off and put the resistance all the way up.  After five thirty second all out bursts I was done.  My brow was sweaty, my palms were course, and my mouth was dry.  I COULDN'T BELIEVE THE WORKOUT THIS THING GAVE ME!!  I may never pick up another free weight again.  To think I've been slaving away at this weightlifting stuff for hours a day is beyond ridiculous.  My Shake Weights gave me three times the workout in only a tenth of the time!  Fuck lifting weights.  I'm totally going to get my Shake Weight Certification.

Sign me up.

I also bought these new pills that are going to add slabs of muscle and incinerate my fat at the same time.  I've been taking them for about a week now and honest to goodness, I think I might be close to being able to fly.  I'll keep you posted.  Have a great weekend!

Song of the Day:   

"You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life even if you had an electrified fooling machine." -Homer Simpson