Tuesday and the Crabapple McNasties

Cleans: 220x2, 230x2, 242x2, 252x2, 264x2, 274x1, 284x1, 294x0,1 (PR)

Fat Bar Bench: 225x1, 265x1, 285x1, 305x1 (PR), 250x5, 260x5

Leg Curls: 3x12
w/
Single Arm Row: 2x12

Sledgehammer Work: 120 total hits per side

You'd think that I'd be in an elated mood about today's session considering I got two PRs on two big lifts.  I'm not.  It kind of started with my set of 274 on cleans.  My plan was to keep doing doubles up to 274 or 284.  On both those sets I got the first one but missed the second.  By now I was pissed at myself so I said, "Fudge it," and threw on a PR weight.  This is where it gets kind of sour.  I got the first attempt to my shoulders at the bottom of the hole.  Without hesitating I GAVE UP and dropped it to the platform.  Words cannot describe how disgusted I was with myself.  If there had been a Ming Dynasty vase around that fucker would've been in a million pieces.  As I walked away I restrained myself from hitting anything or releasing the rage that was building in any other way, I walked back to the bar, cleaned it, stood up with it, threw it to the platform and walked away still furious with myself.  I had just cleaned a PR but I couldn't let go of the anger that I was feeling.  I think this is a good sign.  To me it means that my competitive fires still burn within.  I've always felt that I hated losing more than I liked winning.  And giving up on myself is worse than trying my best and failing.  Truth be told I probably would've literally exploded if I hadn't gotten it though.

I was still pretty red hot while I was benching.  I think this helped.  I'd only done 300 once before so it felt good to get it after heavy squats and presses yesterday and cleans today.  Hopefully it keeps moving in this direction.

Song of the Day:

"Losers talk about trying their best.  Winner's go home and fuck the prom queen." -Sean Connery