Packer Sunday

I couldn't have asked for a better day to be at Lambeau Field today.  Not a cloud in the sky, temperatures in the low to mid sixties, some good food, some cold beers, and my family (for the most part).  I don't really want to talk about the game.  I'm frustrated at this point with the team.  They have talent on offense but can't turn that into points.  They are beat to shit and are putting practice squad players on the field but they can't use that as an excuse.  Needless to say they lost today.  When I was a kid and went to the games I used to fantasize that a bunch of players would get hurt and Mike Holmgren would point into the stands and say, "Troy!  We need ya pal.  Wadda say?"  That's why they lost today.  Mike McCarthy couldn't pull the trigger and yell, "Dequaine!  Get your ass in there and give me a G-D pass rush!"  Yessir coach!

What made it worse was that I was sitting in front of quite possibly the most negative fan in the world.  No matter what happened it was always a worse case scenario.  Every player when they made a mistake was met with, "So and so, you suck!"  I bet this suck has never played a competitive sport in his life.  He's probably never had anybody watching and critiquing his every move.  Yet he feels he is justified in making bullshit comments about professional athlete.  In fact, any one person on the field could probably end his pathetic life if they so choose.  This asshole at one point towards the end of the game actually said, "Rodgers make a clutch play for once."  Are you F-ing kidding me?   People like him make me not even want to go to games.  It's pathetic.  Guy who was sitting in Section 113 Row 29 Seat 1, either be more positive at games and cheer when something good happens instead of unending derision or get face-cancer-AIDS and die the slowest most painful death possible.  Your choice.

There were also a few very weird things to happen to me today.  I'll rank them from least to most.

3.  My Aunt Patti bit my ear as I was hugging her goodbye.  Weird Scale: 3. 

2.  Some of my step dad Pete's friends were doing the shocker hand symbol while getting their picture taken.  My dad asked me what that was.  All I had to do was say that I was very uncomfortable telling him what it meant and he figured it out and dropped it.  Weird Scale: 7

1.  Long story short, my mom heard something weirder than my aunt biting my ear happened to me and asked what that was.  I tried to explain #2 above but her and my 75 year-old grandmother were just not getting it.  They were also trying to figure out The Shocker.  Some of their guesses: peeing on an electric fence and someone shoving their fingers up your butt (so close).  Even though they couldn't figure it out they just wouldn't drop it.  So here I am in a car with my dad, my mom, and my grandmother trying to circumvent explaining The Shocker to everyone.  I almost resorted to explaining it as I would to an inquisitive six-year-old asking about the birds and the bees by using nothing but euphemisms.  "Sometimes a man and a women, who love each other very much, will do something called The Shocker.  The man will hold Thumbkin and Ring Man together.  Then he will put Pointer and Tall Man into the women's "down there" and Pinky will go into her "bummers."  Thank whatever is out there I didn't have to do that. 

Weird Scale: OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS

All in all it was a good day.  Would've been better with a Packer's win, but what can you do?

Song of the Day:


“That's my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back. If it's not positive, I didn't hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy." -George Foreman