Friday, September 2, 2011

Why Am I A Jerk? Part 2A: The Rebuttals

In my previous installment I outlined a few reasons why I may have become a jerk and/or the people accusing me of becoming a jerk are just oversensitive babies. The big on had to do with me dropping some body fat and living alone. My accusers on the other hand live with significant others and are, well, fat. The kid gloves have come off. Here's what they had to say.

Accuser #1

Accuser #1 took immediately to Facebook to voice his displeasure with this to say. "So i read the article and here is what i pulled away from it. now that you have changed your body your t levels are higher making you more competitive and less sensitive. on the other hand your so called accusers are in commited relationships lowering their t levels making them overly sensitve. sounds like your in trouble now that your "offically in a relationship". one might also say that dedicating a two part article to prove a point to your accusers is an overly sensitive thing to do. thats just my opinion and every one is entitled to there opinion without being accused of being a jerk"

(Between bites) Where's (hrumph) the dislike (hrumph) button? Ha! (hrumph)

That's copy and pasted right from his comment on the article link and probably what he looked like when he was posting it. You'll notice it's riddled with spelling and grammar errors making it almost indecipherable, but that's beside the point. I am now in a relationship but I don't think it will have any effect on my endocrine system since we don't live together. I can shit with the door open, walk around in my undies, blast metal and punk, and pretty much do whatever the hell else I feel like doing.

His other argument is that writing an article is "an overly sensitive thing to do." Ha. What am I supposed to do? Just accept his criticisms of how I carry myself with a smile and say, "You're right (Accuser #1). I am being a jerk. I'll change." Screw that. I'm coming out with guns blazing. Only a slacked-jawed eff would sit back and take those kinds of criticisms. And only a slack-jawed eff would use a Facebook comment section to argue something with someone he sees every day.

Accuser #2

It took accuser #2 a while to actually read the article. He's a technophobe so that's understandable. He didn't really have much to say initially besides parroting a joke that a couple of our friends made about being "fat as hell but with higher T levels than everybody." At this point he didn't have a rebuttal because he knew that everything I said was true. But inside the mouse was turning the wheel that produces his thoughts.

A little bit later he came to me with this.

If this dog had a voice it's what Accuser #2 would sound like.

Accuser #2: I was, uh, thinking. And you may have raised your T and dropped your estrogen but me and (Accuser#2) have way higher T levels regardless.
Me: How do you know that?
Accuser#2: I just do.
Me: Have you had your endocrine levels checked?
Accuser #2: No, but just look at us.
Me: Whatever you say, Marmaduke. (I didn't really say that, but I should have because that's what a jerk would have done.)

Sounds like some solid evidence. Really outstanding detective work Accuser #2. If you go back and read the article I never said that my T levels were higher and my estrogen levels were lower than those of my accusers. I also never said that either of those hormones were outside of normal levels for myself or my accusers. I merely stated that, based on scientific research, I may have experienced a raise in T and a drop in estrogen and vice versa for Accusers #1 and #2. They obviously interpreted it in the worst way possible.

Part 2B: Bringing It All Together is going to finally put this issue to rest. There's a lot of interesting subtleties to this issue that have been studied and written about by people much smarter than me. The end result will probably surprise a lot of people.

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