People I Want To Drink With: Lemmy Kilmister

Lemmy Kilmister was not "born" like you or I.  On Christmas Eve in 1945 he sprang forth from a petri dish concoction of Jack Daniel's Bourbon, gunpowder, a few of Edward Teach's half-smoked cigars, and the pubic hair of some of Britain's finest "Lady's of the Night."  In case you hate awesome music Lemmy Kilmister is the lead vocalist and bassist of Motorhead, a band that rocks so hard that when they play ears bleed, faces melt, chicks faint, tides change, and God himself listens in.

You're going to tell me this band ain't bad ass?  Forget about it.

Lemmy's main inspiration to start playing music came at an early age when he saw classmates bring guitars to school and get chicks in the process.  He then brought his mother's guitar to class even though he didn't know how to play and a sex legend was born, "In those days having a guitar was enough...that was enough."  Lemmy is such a prodigious dancer of the horizontal mambo that he was featured at number 8 in Maxim's top ten "Living Sex Legends" list.  They estimated he wined, dined, and sixty-nined his way into around 1,200 women's hearts.

In addition to his taste for women Lemmy also has an insatiable appetite for drugs and booze.  In the Channel 4 documentary "Motorhead: Live Fast Die Old" Lemmy revealed that he drinks and bottle of JD each day and has done so since he was 30.  That is fucking amazing to me since I've only done that once and can't be 100% certain that I even did since I blacked out half way through.  And it was Segram's because I was short on cash at the time.  I also felt like sack of steamrolled hog anuses for a few days afterwards.  On top of the Jack and Coke's Lemmy loves to do amphetamines.  His reasoning for taking them is probably the best I've ever heard.

I first got into speed because it was a utilitarian drug and kept you awake when you needed to be awake, when otherwise you'd just be flat out on your back. If you drive to Glasgow for nine hours in the back of a sweaty truck you don't really feel like going onstage feeling all bright and breezy... It's the only drug I've found that I can get on with, and I've tried them all — except smack and morphine: I've never fixed anything.

The womanizing, binge drinking, and drug use is all well and good.  But what I like the most about Lemmy, besides his honest, straight forward, devil-may-care attitude to the world is his balls-out pursuit of awesome to the max facial hair.  When professional wrestler Triple H adopts your signature facial hair style you're no longer just a bad ass.  You are now so fucking rad you could probably make chicks pregnant just by winking at them.

Boom.  Preggers.

So if you like to rock and roll I would implore you to check out Motorhead.  Saxon even likes them.  I was listening to their album Ace of Spades while he was sleeping on the couch and he started convulsing to the music.  Don't worry, he's fine.  Saxon's just a dog that loves him some rock.  Here's a little taste.



Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemmy
Motorhead: Live Fast Die Old