Diet Update and Confessions Of a Former Fat Boy

Here is what my diet looks like on a daily basis.  Every few days I have a high carbohydrate day and drop the fat as much as possible.  In the next week or so I'll probably start cutting some protein out as well.

Meal 1: Preworkout and 10g BCAA (branch chain amino acids)
(workout)
Meal 2: 2 scoops protein, 10g BCAA, Apple, Orange

Meal 3: 2 whole eggs, 6 egg whites, handful of bell peppers

Meal 4: 1 chicken quarter (thigh and leg, skin removed), 5 oz. sirloin steak

Meal 5: 12 oz. chicken breast, 2 cups steamed broccoli

With the intermittent fast all the meals are eaten within a 6-8 hour window.  I'm liking this as it's keeping me full for a while and let's me get on with my day.

While the before picture on the left isn't a true before picture, it gives you a good idea of where I started.  About 13% body fat on the left.  If I had to guess I'm probably in the 8-9% range on the right.

With this diet I can safely say that right now I am at the leanest I've ever been in my life.  People at work have noticed and have said positive things and I appreciate them all.  Despite that I've always got this chip on my shoulder.  No matter how many times I see myself in the mirror I still feel like the fat, young kid that I was.  Let me explain.  This is not an eating disorder kind of thing.  There is no way in hell I will ever develop an eating disorder.  I like food too much.

Maybe saying I feel like that kid was wrong.  I should say I still remember what it was like to feel like him.  I was always over weight as a kid.  Even when I was little I was usually off the height and weight charts at the doctors office.  As I got older the height leveled off but I was still usually one of the heaviest kids in my class.  A few memories from my childhood...

Being the kid that wore his shirt in the swimming pool and being laughed at when I didn't.

 Asking my sister if she thought I was fat.

My very well meaning mother, trying as delicately as she could, to tell me different foods to eat to lose weight.

Hating looking at pictures of myself because I hated my chubby cheeks.

Praying to God to make me skinny before we went on the class field trip to the swimming pool.

Agreeing with one of the other chubby kids in class that the Presidential Fitness Test was just to embarrass us in front of everybody.

Getting a personal low of 2 seconds in the flexed arm hang.

I'm sure there are more but these ones stick out the most.

The reason that I'm telling you this is that I'll always have that chip on my shoulder.  I'll always have that burning desire to never go back to what I was.  I'll always have that whiny fat kid whispering in my ear, "Yes, that's it.  Eat the cupcake.  Come join us and be fat and happy."  No thanks, fatty.  I'm good right here.