Cleanin' Pressin' Prowlin'

Cleans: 264 for 10 singles

Fat Bar Presses: 135x5, 155x5, 185x3x3

Single Arm Row: 3x10

Glute Ham: 3x10

Prowler

I was low on energon today.  I felt sluggish the entire time.  I think I need to eat more carbs leading up to my training sessions.  Otherwise I just feel plain poopy.  Experiment imminent tomorrow.  I'm to need it.  I'm gonna be tuggin' some big weights tomorrow morning.

Song of the Day:

"First find the man in yourself if you will inspire manliness in others." -Amos Bronson Alcott

Middle of the Week Day

Squat: 315x5, 365x5, 405x5x3

Fat Bar Incline Press: 185x5, 205x5, 225x3x5

Pendlay Rows: 4x8

Reverse Hyper: 2x15

Lifted in the morning before work today.  I don't usually do well but I managed just fine.  The squats were less difficult than I thought they were going to be.  This gives me some confidence to keep pushing the reps and weight at the same time.  Not too much though.  It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Song of the Day:

“Nothing is more revolting than the majority; for it consists of few vigorous predecessors, of knaves who accommodate themselves, of weak people who assimilate themselves, and the mass that toddles after them without knowing in the least what it wants." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Twosday

Cleans: 242x2x3 262x1, 272x1, 286x1, 262x2

Behind the Neck Push Press: 135x5, 185x5, 195x5,4,3,2,1,

Single Arm Row: 3x15
w/
Glute Ham: 3x10

Abs: 3 sets

Prowler

Felt a little stiff this morning when I woke up.  Stone worked my back but good.  Just how I wanted it.  Cleans felt good.  Still trying to tweak a few things here and there.  BTNPPs were OK.  I wanted to do 3 sets of 5 at 195 but I'll take getting the total reps.  Tomorrow is another day.

Song of the Day:

"Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men." -Norman Mailer

Skwats an' Such

Squat: 405x5, 430x3, 455x1,1, 485x1, 455x1,1

Fat Bar Bench: 225x5, 245x5, 265x3, 275x1, 285x1,1,1, 250x5

240 Stone: picksx10, Lap to Chestx6,6
w/
Leg Curls: 3x8

Sprints

Pretty good day.  Weights moved well.  Stone felt good after not having done it for a while.  Other than that all is well.

I've been on a Tencious D kick lately.  This is definitely one of their best/most badass songs.

Song of the Day:

"Of all that is written, I love only what a person has written in their own blood." -Friedrich Nietzsche

Keys to Progress Part Triceratops; Do It For Yourself

This series of articles is going to lay out what I feel are the intangible virtues of those that progressively get better in whatever pursuit they may have. While these articles can be applied to any facet of life I'm going to use predominantly weightlifting examples because I'm a meathead at heart. You can see part I here, and Part II here.

"It'll destroy you if you try to make it mean anything to anyone but yourself." -Henry Rollins

Recently a couple of friends have been recruiting me to play on their semi-pro football team with them. Semi-pro football is inhabited by mostly well-meaning guys with no delusions of grandeur who just like to play football. Nothing more; nothing less. I gave it serious consideration even going to their combine and a practice. But, I came to the realization that I just didn't want to play anymore. There were a few other minor reasons as well, namely that I would be missing almost half the season due to other commitments. But it came down to that if I did play I would only be doing so because others wanted me to, not because I wanted to. I know that if I played I would have fun because it is a great group of guys but my heart just wasn't in it. I wouldn't be doing it for me.

The bigger picture of that story is that living life to meet other's expectations is the road to mediocrity, self-loathing and an overall bad time. I've known men that have been devoted to their significant others, spending time and money and whatever else it took only to be repeatedly shit on. Shit, I've been in that position a few times. I've seen people tear themselves inside out and completely lose track of who they really are to meet some impossible societal standard of how someone should look or talk or smell or feel.

One more reason I'm in favor of compulsory sterilization.

This brings me to the whole of physical culture. Although it's incredibly ironic- and maybe that was the point- it's like that scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt holds up the picture of the male model and asks, "Is this what a man is supposed to look like?" Our ideal body image and the human ideal in general have been and always will be sold to us. Use this ab widget and have ripped abs! Use this buns widget and have a butt that no man can touch but no man can keep his eyes or hands off! Hide those extra pounds with Skinny Jeans! Breast implants really improve your self-esteem! Only women with 24" waists and pretty smiles with brilliant white teeth marry rich doctors! And so it goes.

She caught her husband cheating then tried to turn herself into a cat to win him back. She must be so happy.

What happened to people using the gym or the road as therapy? What happened to people using exercise to challenge themselves to something? What happened to people striving to better themselves in an effort to eschew societies standards instead of to embrace them? Lifting weights gives my life regularity. It gives me clarity of thought. Some guys get that on the toilet. I get it under a bar. Lifting weights gives me an outlet for my frustration, my anger, my creativity, my passion, my competitiveness. Lifting weights is sometimes the only thing that I ever feel in control of. The 400 lbs on the bar doesn't care about my mortgage. It doesn't care that my dog ripped up some carpet in the living room. It doesn't care that my right IT band feels like it's going to pop out of my leg. It doesn't care that underneath I've always felt a river of inadequacy coursing through me. All it cares about is being as close to the ground as possible. The law of gravity is the only thing it obeys. It's always going to tell it to me straight. I've either got it or I don't.

Where many a battle have been waged.

I joke around a lot but I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly the peak of physical evolution. With that said I never know how to respond when people admire or say they want to emulate my physical appearance. When I was done with football and was beginning on my weight training journey I will admit that was one of my goals. I tried the 12-week this diet and the 16-week that training plan. I soon realized it was mostly smoke and mirrors. I was looking for the magic bullet. I was looking for the thing that would allow me to stop the strain and the struggle and the sweat and the blood and just coast for the rest of my life. I was looking for someone else's ideal. I was trying to put my square peg into someone else's round hole.

Wait....

Once I gravitated towards competition that all changed. I didn't give fuck number one what someone else lifted, weighed, or looked like. Competition introduced me to the best competitor I'll ever have, myself. My football coaches used to love the saying, "You are either getting better or getting worse. There is no staying the same." Therefore, I'm striving to be better than myself. Better than I was the day before. Not better than some air-brushed model. Not better than some impossible ideal. The compliments are nice, but I like PRs better. The wayward looks from the bachelorette party are flattering, but don't compare to three white lights from three intently watching judges.

I do this because I know no other way. I've never been one to follow the flock and I don't think you should be either. There is a certain safety and comfort in numbers. There is the warm blanket of never having to wear the fact that you don't care what the others may say on your face that you get from blending in. Break free from the ties that bind. The door that imprisons you has never been locked. All you have to do is open it. If you don't nothing will change. Your life will go on as planned. If you do, all you will gain is yourself.

“I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.” -Henry Rollins

Training- Friday

Pause Squat: 225x3, 315x3, 405x3x3

Short Bar Single Arm Press: worked up to 105x1

Glute Ham: 3x10
w/
Single Arm Row: 3x10

Sprints

Week 1 of Operation Cowgirl Up is in the books.  I feel really good.  The pause squats today felt great.  I was never uncomfortable in the bottom and the speed up was constant.  I've been wanting to try the short bar presses for a while and kind of surprised myself on what I was capable of.  I also got a good sign that I'm gaining good weight.  I think my adductors (inside muscle of the thigh) have gotten bigger because today while rolling out I almost crushed Righty.  He let me know something wasn't right just in time.  Good thing.

Song of the Day:

"Patience and fortitude conquer all things." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's Thursday, So What?

Cleans: 242 x 4 singles, 262 x 3 singles, 272x1, 242x2x2

Log Press: 141x5, 161x5,5 171x3,3

Chins: 4x6
w/
Reverse Hyper: 4x10

Sprints

Nothing new under the sun.  Clean mechanics are feeling good.  None of the weights felt super difficult.  Shoulders are feeling a bit beat up so I didn't push too heavy on the log.  Other than that I'm feeling good.

Song of the Day:

"He is able who thinks he is able." -Buddha

Doing Work, Giving Effort, Staying Consistent

Squat: 405x3,3  430x2,2  455x1,1

Fat Bar Incline: 135x5  155x5  175x5 195x4 205x3,3

Chest Supported Row: 2x15

45` Back Ext.: 2x15

A few posts back I wrote about effort in and out of the gym.  In my opinion the largest part of our success is attributable to what we do outside of the gym.  Case in point;  My friend Eric knows that rolling out and doing soft tissue work on off days is important.  He doesn't really want to do it, but he gets it done.  In his own words:

The process of me rolling out on non training days should be witnessed by all. Starts with me laying on the couch in my underwear. Slowly falling off and staring at my PVC pipe from a distance for about 5 minutes. I reach for it and fail. Another attempt, got it. I then lay on it for 5 minutes (arch work) while watching TV. Then spend 5 minutes on each body part. 5 minute breaks between each. I always have to stop halfway through to crap.

Fucking snapping necks and cashing checks.  That's what life is all about.  This song is for him.

Song of the Day:

"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships."  Abraham Lincoln

Trimble, Show Me How To Sub!

Cleans: 230x3,3 242x2,2, 257x1,1, 265x1

Standing Press (Fat Bar): 135x3, 165x3,3 175x3, 185x3

Pendlay Rows: 4x8

Glute Hame: 4x10

Sprints

Abs

Some people that I work with are a bit skeptical of my ability to sustain a high training frequency for very long.  I tried to explain that my overall volume is not much higher and my intensity is lower, therefore I will never be killing myself with any one training session.  This should allow me to keep training at a higher frequency without needing a prolonged deload, if any.  Also, I'm not a baby.  I don't take a deload week every time I don't feel motivated to train.  If my recovery starts to slide, my sleeping goes bad, and I get injured then I'll take a hint.  But until then, I'm going to cowgirl up and bust ass.

It should also be noted that the biggest nay-sayer is now a proud daddy-to-be.  I gave him some grief today that once his kid is born his training, testosterone levels, and strength in general are going to plummet.  Then we'll see who's laughing.  But seriously, congratulations Jake and Erin.  May your first child be a masculine one.
Song of the Day:

"...No man has ever made a success of anything unless his heart was in it." -Fielding Yost

Monday- A New Direction (Kind Of)

Squat: 425x1; 455x1,1,1; 475x1

Bench: 225x3; 245x3; 265x3,3; 275x3

Single Arm Row: 3x10
w/
Hamstring Curls: 3x12

I'm going to try a new way of doing things.  I'm going to play around with squatting three times per week, power cleaning twice per week, and doing some kind of upper body press every day.  I'll also throw in some upper back and posterior chain work to keep everything balanced.  I'm going to train M-F and take weekends off.  Each session should only take me about an hour.  I've been trying to tweak higher frequency training to work for me.  I think where I go wrong is that I get greedy and push the weights too much.  I need to remind myself to not overdo it on any one training session and let the accumulation of all the training sessions work to my advantage.  I'm excited to see how it goes.

Song of the Day:

"Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought." -Napoleon Hill

Keys To Progress: Part Deaux, Effort

Effort

It all comes down to this, doesn't it? You can have the best training program, the best equipment and facility, even the best, most motivating trainer, but if you don't put in the work none of it means shit. Tell me one thing in life where someone can put in mediocre effort and get above average results. It doesn't happen, certainly not in the gym. Anything worth doing well takes effort and enthusiasm. If either one of those things are lacking then even the perfect training program is just a piece of paper. Without effort your trainer is just some asshole that doesn't know shit according to you.

Huge asshole.

Effort In

This effort is when you are in the actual environment, be it the gym, the office, whatever. This effort is usually the easiest to give. When there are watchful eyes everyone wants to be a superstar. Everyone wants to be the workout all-American. I'm guilty of it. My situation is a bit different being that I'm a fitness professional that regularly trains in the gym I work at. I want my clients to see the effort I put into my training. Then when I demand the same they have only one choice; put out or get out. They can't come back and say, "Do you do this stuff?" Yes I do. And you've seen me.

A word on what effort is not.  If you can talk on a cell phone, read a book, or do a sudoku puzzle you're not trying hard enough.  When you come to the gym you should come ready to sweat, breath heavy, and feel the sting of lactic acid in your muscles.  40 RPMs on the recumbent bike while looking at business reports on your Blackberry is going to get you where?  Fucking nowhere.

Awful.  Take a lap.

The other aspect that makes this an easier effort to give is that it is the least time demanding. An hour or two a day for three days a week doesn't add up to much. If you know how to lead people getting them to bust ass for a few hours a week isn't hard. I don't know too many people that couldn't go balls out for three or four hours per week. Those that train alone this may be a bit tougher. In the words of George Washington, "Tough titties." If you can't commit to training then nothing is going to happen. If you can't commit to three hours per week in the gym, then how the hell can you commit to the other 165 out of it? You can't. So get up and get it done. The number of hours in a week leads me to my next point.

Effort Out

This is the one that gets most people. Effort in the gym is easy. People are watching, you've usually got a nice support system with friends, trainers, etc, and there is a definitive end point that is always in sight. Giving effort outside is hard. If you want results from your three hours of being in the gym then you've got to give effort the other 165 hours of the week. Seeing people bust ass but get no results is hard to watch and it is the direct result of their actions outside the gym. Do they eat enough of the right kinds of foods? Do they stretch and do soft tissue work? Do they sleep enough? It's usually one or all of these that lead to stagnated results and even back sliding.

In fact, the hours outside the gym are even more important than the hours in it. No one can out train a shitty diet. Leaving the gym and saying I earned that pint of ice cream is only going to take you to Fattsburgh. Population: You. If you don't sleep enough you won't recover well and your hormone profiles will usually suffer. Poor hormone function equals poor results, not to mention poor sex drive and overall health. If you don't stay on top of mobility issues on your off days they are never going to stick and you will be battling them forever. Doing the right things outside the gym makes the time in the gym that much more efficient and enjoyable. No one likes working out and getting no results.

100% Or Nothing

I once read that 99% is hard, 100% is easy. In many ways that is true. When you give yourself a choice it becomes all too easy to chose the easy route, which is almost invariably the poor one. Don't give yourself the choice of going to the gym or not going to the gym. Don't give yourself the choice of eating clean or having the row of cookies. Don't give yourself the choice of going to bed at 10pm or going to bed at 1am. Go to the gym, eat healthy, get some sleep. You will thank yourself in the end.

Take A Break

Like anything, nobody is perfect. We all have break downs. There are two types of people that this happens to. Here is a hypothetical situation: You've been eating clean for two weeks with no cheats. You're at work and someone brings cake for their birthday. You tell yourself you've been good for two weeks and can afford the cake. You have a small piece, and another, and another. You end up eating A LOT of cake and some ice cream to boot. Now what?

OH SHIT!

Person 1: You say, "Whoops. Had way too much cake. Can't undo the fact that I ate a bunch of cake and some ice cream. What I can do is see this as a small road bump, put my nose to the grind stone and get right back on the clean eating wagon. All is well, I'm not going to balloon up, I gave myself a reward for two weeks of great effort." You go to the gym the next day and do a little extra cardio or a few more reps on squats and all is well.

Person 2: You say, "Fuck it. Off the diet. No going back on this now. I'm such a fat ass and always will be. I'm just not meant to be in shape. Whatever, I'm happier this way. I can eat whatever I want. Not like those poor suckers that have to eat meat and fruit and veggies. Sucks to be them. I'm going to get some pizza and breadsticks and cookies for dinner. I'm never going to the gym again." You never go to gym again.

That's a hypothetical involving food. The same situation could be reworked for going to train, getting sleep, or working on mobility. The point is that you can't be perfect every second of every day. That's called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. A person with OCD is invariably not fun. This stuff should be a major component in your life, but not so overpowering that you can't enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixin's or go out to dinner with friends without bitching about how the menu isn't "paleo". The purpose of life is to live, not to be an uber strict asshole.

The Take Home

Effort is pushing yourself to be better at all times. Better at the gym, better at the dinner table, better between the sheets. We all have room for improvement but don't take it overboard. That leads to boredom, disillusionment, and ultimately crystal meth use. You've been warned, now go kick some ass. Worry about the names later.

She missed a few workouts and look what it led to.  Awful.  Take a lap.

Training-Friday

Snatch: 176x2, 2, 2, 186x1

High Bar Oly Squat: 315x2x8

Snatch Grip RDLs: 198x10, 264x8,8

Single Arm Row: 120x10, 10, 10

Keg Carry: 165er x 30 yards x 10

Pretty good 80%er today.  No PRs but still got some good work in.  I almost went heavier on the Oly squats but kept my ego in check and kept the weight lighter and faster instead of going for heavy grinders.

Work was a little light today.  I wonder why.  Hmm, maybe something to do with it being the feast of St. Patrick yesterday.  Too many corned beef hangovers I presume.

Song of the Day:

"Inward calm cannot be maintained unless physical strength is constantly and intelligently replenished." -Buddha

St. Patty's Day

Unfortunately I won't be turning my insides inside out tonight to celebrate a bunch of dead snakes in Ireland.  I did wear a shirt that says "Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced" to lift in though.  It'll have to do.

2 Cleans 1 Jerk: 154, 196, 220, 242, 264 (missed the jerk)

BTN Push Press: 185x5, 3

Pendlay Rows: 8, 3x6

DB Incline: 3x15

Face Pulls: 3x15

DB Tri Ext.: 1x15

Fat Bar Curls: 1x15

Hill Sprints: x8

St. Patty's Day used to be a time of great celebration for my friends and me.  Now, not so much.  Too many amateurs out and about that don't know how to handle it.  Plus I have a job that would probably frown on the whole take-off-work-to-drink-so-much-you-puke-for-two-hours-then-punch-out-a-bunch-of-rear view-mirrors-and-cry-yourself-to-sleep-in-a-gutter-only-covered-by-your-own-vomit-and-excrement thing.  Instead, I'll just try to bait some leprechauns and then steal their gold.

Song of the Day:

“St. Patrick... one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish." -Charles M. Madigan

Guy's I'd Like To Have A Drink With, Vol. 2: Carlos Hathcock

A lot of people have never heard of Carlos Hathcock.  A lot of people do know some of the things he has done.  If you are giggling at his last name, shame on you.  Carlos Hathcock is one of the reasons we aren't all speaking Vietnamese right now.  If the Viet Cong had a Carlos Hathcock on their side he probably would have sniped his way all the way to the White House and proclaimed himself Emperor for Life. 

Gunnery Sargent Hathcock had 93 confirmed kills in Vietnam during his two tours of duty.  The count is probably much higher due to the rules of counting confirmed kills.  He was an ultimate badass that when he had a job to do, he did it.  He didn't hesitate, he didn't ask frivolous questions, he straight up got shit done.

Carlos Hathcock was born in 1942 and raised in rural Arkansas by his grandmother.  He honed his kill shot hunting small game to feed his poor family.  As a child he would also take his dog out into the woods and pretend he was a one man Nazi killing machine.  If he'd have been born a few decades earlier he probably would have been.  A few grams of lead put right between the eyes of Hitler and everyone could have bugged out early.

In 1959, at the age of 17 Hathcock fulfilled his lifelong dream and enlisted in the Marines.  When I was 17 I played high school football, went swimming in friend's pools and enjoyed the cool comfort of air conditioning.  Carlos Hathcock wanted none of that.  Shortly after enlisting in the Marines he made it well known he was king shit when it came to handling a rifle.  In 1965 he won the Wimbolden Cup, the most prestigious prize in shooting, at Camp Perry.  Then something happened.  Viet-goddamn-nam happened.

As stated above Hathcock had 93 confirmed kills in Vietnam.  In order to get a confirmed kill the shot had to be witnessed by an acting third party who also had to be an officer in addition to the shooter's spotter.  If a sniper was behind enemy lines, which was often the case, the third party would not be present.  Long story short, Carlos Hathcock did many a widow make.

Killing is my business, and business is good.

Carlos Hathcock was so good at killing NVA that they put a $30,000 bounty on his head.  The usual going rate for enemy snipers was anywhere from $8 to $2000.  That about makes him a rock star among American snipers. 

He was called "White Feather" for the white feather he wore in his cap.  If an enemy sniper ever got him in his scope he probably saw the white feather and thought about the frivolity of war.  Then Carlos Hathcock made orphans out of his children.  Because that's what he had been sent to do.  In a book about his life he stated, "I like shooting, and I love hunting. But I never did enjoy killing anybody. It's my job. If I don't get those bastards, then they're gonna kill a lot of these kids dressed up like Marines. That's the way I look at it."  The man had a mission and he chose to accept it.

Hathcock's most famous kill shot has been recreated in movies a couple times over.  Hathcock and his spotter, John Roland Burke, were hunting an enemy sniper that had already killed a couple of Marines near Hill 55.  Many believed he had been sent to specifically kill Hathcock.  Hathcock saw a flash of light in the bushes and fired at it.  The bullet traveled through the enemy's scope hitting him in his eye and turning his brain into a bowl of scrambbied eggs.  The only way that could have happened was if both snipers had been aiming directly at one another.

On another mission that he volunteered for he had to crawl over 1,500 yards through a field to kill and enemy general.  It took him four days and three nights to inch his way to his prey.  After he sent the general packing he then had to crawl back, inch-by-inch.

Hathcock's career in Vietnam came to an end when the amtrack he was riding on hit and anti-tank mine.  Before he saved himself he pulled seven other Marine's to safety.  In the aftermath he rejected an commendation for his bravery saying that he only did what anyone else would have done.  He later received the Silver Star.

Hathcock passed away in 1999 after a long battle with multiple sclerosis.  He remains a legend in the Marine Corps to this day.  The Gunnery Sergeant Carlos Hathcock Award is given annually to the Marine sniper who does the most to promote marksmanship.  Camp Lejeune in North Carolina has a sniper range named after him.  He has also been alluded to in many fictional works including his scope kill which was portrayed in Saving Private Ryan.  Sniper, the 1993 film starring the Tom Berringer and a so-so Billy Zane was about his exploits in Vietnam.  If Tom Berringer is going to be playing you, you know you are bad ass.


Sources:

http://military.discovery.com/technology/weapons/snipers/snipers-01.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Hathcock

Cleaning, Deep Knee Bends, and Killing Myself

Cleans: 220x3,1,1,1  Just working speed and technique on these

Squat: 315x5, 385x4, 425x3, 455x2, 485x1, 315x10, 365x10

Glute Ham: 3x10

Prowler Suicides:  x3, 50 lbs, 5 hi, 5 lo, 10 hi, 10 lo, 15 hi, 15 lo 

That's 60 yards of ass kicking action.  I literally would have rather killed myself than done a fourth.  I would rather run my neck along a two-man saw until my head fell off.  I would rather jump off a tall building onto a cop car.  I would rather lightly punch myself until I died.  I would rather be found dead from auto erotic asphyxiation.  Not really, but those suckers were hard.

Song of the Day:

"The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it." -Ayn Rand

Sloppy Snatches and Prone Press to Arms Length

Snatch: 132x3, 176x2, 198x1, 152x3

Tried a bit of a different technique on these.  I like it, I just need to work out a few kinks.

Fat Bar Bench: 225x5, 245x4, 265x3, 285x2, 300x1

Single Arm Fat Gripz Press: 65x5, 70x4, 80x3, 90x2, 95x1

Double Arm: 50x10, 55x10

Face Pulls

Curls

Conditioning

Upper echelon 80%'er today.  Just got some work, got my swell on, went back to work.  Not much to it other than that.

Song of the Day:

"A small drip can hollow a stone." -Anonymous

Need Motivation? Not Anymore: 5 Movie Scenes To Watch When In Need Of Getting Jacked Up

We all have those days where we can't even get the thought of going to the gym and training into our heads, let alone the motivation to do it.  Sometimes it takes me a solid ten minutes of staring into the middle distance like some hillbilly mouth-breather looking at that purddy lady down yonder while laying on a foam roller to work up the strength to move the 15 feet into the weight room.  On the flip side of that sometimes I'm at home with the dog on the couch with no intention of doing anything other than that and some kick ass movie comes on and all of a sudden I want to go downstairs to Nitro St. Justice's Barbell Club & Gentleman's Lounge and squat until I've sufficiently worked out any and all demons.  Here is my list of 5 awesome movie scenes to watch to work yourself into an iron killing mad(wo)man.

5. Alec Baldwin in Glengary Glenn Ross


This scene lacks a lot of what makes the usual bad ass movie scene.  There's no guns.  No one dies.  No aliens/monsters getting their insides exploded.  Clint Eastwood doesn't rape some broad until she likes it like he does in High Plains Drifter.  But what this scene lacks in violence it makes up for in spades in testosterone fueled intensity.  There is no denying Alec Baldwin is the alpha male of the room.  Everything he does is done to display his dominance.  Jack Lemon's character, who is the basis of the character Gil in The Simpsons, is too easy and is almost not even worth his time, yet he is made an example of.  Ed Harris challenges his authority and is summarily put in his place.  Maybe your Alec Baldwin and you do things to display your dominance.  Maybe your Jack Lemon and are sick of it.  Display and assert your dominance or show everyone you aren't a bottom feeder anymore.  Either way, use it and go bust some shit up. 

4. Any Scene In Jurassic Park With a Velociraptor



If the thought of being eaten alive by a pack of velociraptors doesn't excite your sympathetic nervous system then you wouldn't survive a pillow fight.  Hunting humans is the ultimate game and according to Jurassic Park velociraptors are the Michael Jordan of that game.  Seriously, outmaneuvering a velociraptor is pretty much the apex of our evolution.  We have to use our large frontal cortex to plan and stay a few steps ahead of the game.  We need to use our large glutes, quads, hamstrings, and bipedalism to high tail it out of there.  And we need our ability to create tools and shoot the shit out of them.  If you're not training to be able to do this (lifting, sprinting, reading) then you'll never survive an attack from an enemy; iron, animal, human, zombie or otherwise.  Suck it up and survive, fella.

3. The Fight Scene From They Live


First off, this entire movie kicks ass.  The basic premise is that Roddy Piper is given a pair of sunglasses that allows him to see the world as it really is.  This is a world where all rich people and those in power are actually a race of evil aliens that keep humans subdued and poor.  All advertising has subliminal messages like "Stay Asleep" and "Submit to Authority"  He says, "Fuck that." and tries to recruit Keith David to his side.  What ensues is hands down the best fight scene in the history of film and probably fighting itself.  Once again we have a scene filled with testosterone fueled rage and aggression.  After this epic fight all I want to do is fight.  But I don't.  I take it out on the weights.  The weight has one friend.  His friend is gravity.  They are both my enemy.  We will battle until the end of one of our days.  Oh, and this movie also gave us this little gold nugget of awesome.


2. Rocky IV Training Montage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q57qB6Kwroo

If you hate this scene then you hate freedom, America, puppies and liberty.  There is not much I can say to this that isn't said within all of our hearts when we watch this.  This scene also displays the non-importance of fancy exercising machines and regimens.  Rocky had a barn and all of it's trappings and his closest friends and trainers.  Drago had a "state-of-the-art" training hall and an army of scientists.  Guess who won.  Your goddam right Rocky did.  If Rocky can do it in Siberia with nothing, we can do it in Suburbia with all of our modern advancements.  Go out and make America proud.

1. The Final Scene From Last of the Mohicans


There is so much win in this scene it's almost obscene.  If it were up to me this movie would win Best Picture every year for the rest of eternity.  Hawkeye doing the right thing and shooting a man who gave his life for his when he is in extreme pain.  Uncas fighting bravely but falling to Magua.  Alice Munro being with her lover in death.  Chingachgook avenging his son's death.  Magua getting his comeuppance.  And the whole time the celtic violin in the background make this scene my number one scene to watch when in need of motivation.  The amount of raw energy and emotion in this scene leaves me with one choice and one choice only, find an outlet for the raw energy and emotion that is now burning a fire inside me.

If you need motivation after this post then there is nothing I can do to help you.  In fact, you might be clinically depressed and I say that with the utmost sincerity.  Either that, or you'll never have the intensity to be good at anything and will live in safety and mediocrity until your dying breath.  Chose your path.

Thursday and Friday and Something That Grinds My Gears

Thursday:

Fat Bar Push Press: 213x3, 225x1, 135x10, 155x10

Lat Pull Downs: 3x20
w/
Face Pulls: 3x20

Tricep Pushdowns: 3x20

Prowler: 90 lbsx20 yardsx8

Friday:

Snatch Grip Deadlift: 396x1, 440x1

Rack Pulls (bar just below knee): 445x5,5,13

Single Arm Row: 100x8, 110x8, 120x15

Zottman Curls: 3x8
w/
Shrugs: 3x8

There has been a recent spate among some friends and I of us getting our identities stolen.  While I was in Wausau I got a call about a bunch of fraudulent charges on my check card.  In the couple weeks since I've been back three other friends have had the same thing happen to them.  If I were President here is what I would do with people that get caught doing this:

My fellow Americans,

If you are caught stealing identities in any fashion a huge catapult will be built facing a large body of water.  You will be flung way out into large body of water.  If you make it back, welcome back but you better keep your nose clean.  If you get caught again then a large catapult will be built in front of a large brick wall.  You will be flung at full speed into the brick wall.  If you survive, welcome back, but you don't get any of that delicious health care that your hard working upright citizens receive.  Instead your wounds will heal terribly, if at all.  You will live a life of unending, blinding pain.  You will pray for a death that will not come.  You will be kept alive just so you can feel more pain.  Steal my identity.  I dare you. 

Sincerely, The Motherfucking President.

If you're going to be some piece-of-shit thief at least do it in a way that would be somewhat respectable.  Be a pirate on a wind powered ship.  Ride into a bank on a horse with your six-gun barking fire.  Start a motorcycle gang and wreak havoc where ever you go.  Don't sit at your computer like some fucking nerd and steal thousands with a key stroke.  I don't think a person could be a bigger coward.

Song of the Day:

"The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be." -Lao Tzu

Five Foods For the Rest of My Life: It's Naughty Time

In the previous installment (a long time ago) I gave my list of five healthy foods that I would chose if I could only eat them for the rest of my life.  That was more of an exercise in practicality and knowledge of foods that are really, really good for you.  This list is all about the shitty foods that I would chose if I was limited to only five.  And the drum roll.........

1. Birthday Sheet Cake

50 Cent once sang, "I love you like a fat kid loves cake."  I'm that fat kid he was talking about.  Sheet cake is like heroin to me.  I was hooked the first time I had it and I get real itchy if I don't eat any for a while.  I love all kinds of sheet cake, yellow with chocolate frosting, chocolate/chocolate, chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, etc etc.  But my absolute favorite is funfetti.  There's something about those little pellets of sugar floating in the cake and frosting that really trips my trigger.  Speaking of frosting if you are one of those people that only eat the cake part and leave the frosting you should just quite life right now.  "It's too sweet." "I'm being good by only eating the cake part."  Bullshit.  You're just being hypocritical.  You think you're saving calories by not eating it.  It's fucking cake.  If you want to save calories don't eat any of it.  Save it for the people that will actually enjoy it.  See how much I love cake?  I just swore and got real mad at a hypothetical situation.

Best cake story from my youth: I've still never forgiven my mother for making my sister two cakes for one birthday.  I've never had a two cake birthday.  Just saying.

2. Ice Cream

Numbers 1 and 2 often go together.  And sometimes they get all kinds of freaky naughty with each other and produce ice cream cake!  That's why they are 1 and 2 on this list.  Like cake, I like all kinds of ice cream.  Usually if it's cold, creamy, and sweet I'm good to go.  There are some ice creams that are abominations unto science.  These include, salad, charcoal, and raw horse flesh ice creams.  These actually exist and it makes me sad.  Those poor misguided fools.  Getting back on track, if I had to pick one I'd probably go with Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream made by Ben and Jerry's.  Stephen Colbert is the man and when there are chunks of waffle cone in your ice cream, well, you got a good thing going.

Best ice cream topping: Melt some peanut butter in the microwave for about 40 seconds.  Drizzle it on top and let it harden.  Thank me when you finish.

I had to eat it fast.  I'm so hot it was melting.

3. Qdoba Burritos

Mexican food is, hands down, the best drunk food out there.  I'm not talking about Taco Bell either.  I'd rather play a round of "How's Your Father" with a syphilitic whore than eat there.  I might as well just put the food in a blender and pour it down the toilet, because that's what's going to happen.  What I'm talking about are those tiny Mexican restaurants that are open til 2 am and are staffed by an entire family of friendly Mexicans and serve huge burritos.  But there's something about Qdoba that I can't get enough of.  The combination of the tortilla, meat, beans, rice, salsa, cheese and sour cream gets my motor running.  I'd be willing to wager I could easily polish off two of the suckers in one sitting and give a third one an honest thought.  Damn those are good burritos.

Best burrito story: Every time I get a burrito is the best burrito story.

4. Pancakes with Peanut Butter

My friend Tyler introduced me to putting peanut butter on pancakes when we were in high school.  Peanut butter pancakes and I have been in love ever since.  If you've never tried this you haven't lived a day in your life.  Just the thought of the salty-sweet flavor of the peanut butter combined with the ultra sweetness of the syrup and the fluffy goodness of the pancake puts me into a pre-diabetic state.  If I ate these every day for a week I'd probably be sticking myself with needles for the rest of my life and worrying about losing a foot.  I'd probably piss glucose.  According to Tracy Morgan black people call diabetes the "sugar".  I'd have that sugar all right.  Hyperglycemia here I come.

You now have diabetes.  Sorry.

5. These Burgers I Once Made In College

I love pretty much anything that can be grilled.  Except for veggie burgers.  Those things are for misguided women and hippies who reek of patchouli oil.  But damn do I love some dead cow meat.  I don't remember the exact recipe for these famed burgers but here is my best estimation:

3 lbs. ground beef
3 eggs
1 cup bread crumbs
2-3 oz shredded cheese
2 oz barbecue sauce
3 slices of bacon
garlic powder
salt
pepper

Cook bacon until crispy and coarse chop into smaller bits.  Put everything into a bowl and mash the shit out of it until it becomes one big ball of awesome.  Roll into smaller balls of awesome and flatten into patties of freedom.  Grill to a medium doneness.  Consume the cow flesh to gain his strength.  Gorge any passersby with newly grown horns.  Wave American flag in passersby face.  Let them know you mean business.

You get the picture.  Burgers don't have to be boring.  You can put whatever you want in them.  You could toss some cocaine in there and have a real wild time, although I don't recommend it.  Might make them taste funny.

Best Grilling Story: I once grilled in the middle of a rain storm because I didn't want to break my streak of 11 consecutive weeks of grilling.

So there you have it, the five foods I would chose to eat for the rest of my life.  These foods are usually the staples of my diet when I want to feel disgusted with myself for a few days.  I keep those times few and far between however.  Everything in moderation, especially moderation.  Bon appetit.

Cleans, Deep Knee Bends, and the Crabapple McNasties

Cleans: 220x1x2, 264x1, 274x1, 284x1, 294x0x3

I missed 294 three times in a row.  Urge to kill is at about a 5.5.

Squat: 365x5, 405x4, 445x3, 485x2, 505x0, 315x8, 355x8

I should be able to squat 505 any day of the week.  Urge to kill is at an 8.  Don't talk to me, don't look at me, the tears are welling but I'm going to stay in big boy mode and not let them out.

RDLs: 264x8,8,13

Hammer Hits: a bunch

Flush Out Runs: 40 yards x 8

In the iron game 10% of your training session are balls out awesome.  These are the days PRs are set, everything feels light, you're in the zone.  80% are your run-of-the-mill training sessions.  You go in, get your work done, and go home.  Nothing special.  The final 10% are so shitty you can't even express how you feel in words.  Nothing goes right or you get hurt or weights that should be easy are hard or whatever.  Today was one of those bottom 10%.  I've not had one of these in a while so I guess I'm due.  I'm going to give some explanations but the bottom line is that I just wasn't strong enough today.

The biggest reason today went to hell in a hand cart is that I've been doing more conditioning.  Going from none to some can be a big stress on the body.  It takes time for the body to adapt to the extra work load and more often than not your poundages will suffer for a bit.  They will, however, come back  I know enough to know this was going to happen.  You can't sit on two horses with one ass.  Eventually my body will adapt and the weights will come back.

Another explanation for the failure on squats is that I had been doing mostly singles in the couple of months previous to this.  The extra volume on the heavier weights fried me.  I sat well with the 505 but felt everything let go as I started to reverse the weight.  Again, this takes time to develop.  I'll get accustomed to the extra volume and grow.  Or die.  Those are really the only two options.

So what are the lessons learned?  First and foremost I need to check my ego at the door.  I need to listen to what my body is telling me.  I can't stay locked in to using weights that I have in my head prior to my training session.  I would have been much better served taking smaller jumps on my squat and keeping all the sets fast.  Second, I need to have a short memory when shit like this happens.  I need to see it for what it is, take any lessons to be learned from it, and let it go.  In the grand scheme of things me missing a few cleans and a squat attempt are going to amount to anything.  I'm in this for the long haul.  I'm going to keep the chin up and get better next time.

I did a few punk-kicks while listening to this song and I felt better.

Song of the Day:

“There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no insurmountable barrier except our own inherent weakness of purpose." -Elbert Hubbard

Monday Training and A Disturbing Trend

Jump Rope: 500 skips

Fat Bar Bench: 225x5, 245x4, 265x3, 285x2, 295x1

Single Arm DB Press: 60x5, 70x4, 80x3, 90x2, 95x1

Chins (various grips): 8x5 body weight

Face Pulls: 2x15
w
Hammer Curls: 2x8
w
Skull Crushers: 2x12

650 lb Tire x 5 flips
w
Prowler x140 lbsx20 yards

all x 4

Jump Rope: .5 kiloskips

Everything felt pretty decent today.  Last couple of sets on bench felt good and fast.  My lats and upper back are still a little trashed from dead lifting on Friday so the chins were done with just body weight.  Conditioning is steadily improving.  I'm trying to do a little bit more each time and it seems to be going well so far.  I'm liking the jump roping as a warm up and cool down.  I used to jump rope a ton when I boxed but hadn't really done much since.  I'm starting to find my foot work again and it's actually kind of fun moving around with the rope.

This morning I was polishing the ivories and I heard a commercial for a weight loss pill that claimed people could shed pounds of fat in days instead of weeks.  All the while they didn't have to change a single thing about their lifestyle.  I almost punch-kicked the mirror in a fit of red hot, Rage-a-Hol fueled fury. 

Punch-Kick!

The magic pill in question has the all powerful green tea extract in it as well as who the hell knows what else.  I will admit that green tea extract has some proven ability to aid fat loss, but it can't do it alone.  It also can't do it in the presence of a shitty diet and a shitty work ethic.  Which is exactly the point of this rant. 

Everyone wants a magic bullet.  No one wants to do the work and get their hands dirty.  Everyone wants the destination.  No one wants the journey.  When it's so much easier to just take a pill why would anyone want to get up and move around and at the same time eat less?  Because a lot of people are weak-minded and operate in a world of wishful thinking.  They want things done for them.  They so want for their to be an easy way to get what they want without actually having to do anything.  Some want it so bad they will fall for and believe just about anything that is thrown at them. 

The weight loss industry and the supplement industry as a whole are rife with snake-oil salesmen.  The FDA doesn't regulate any supplements or weight loss products.  This means that those companies don't have to substantiate their claims with any kind of evidence.  They don't even have to use the ingredients they say are in it to make it.  I could put rice flour in a capsule and tell you it will cause you to shed fat, build muscle, increase brain power by 50%, cause you to give off a pheromone that is irresistible to the opposite sex, make you taller, grow your breast or penis size, allow you to levitate, and give you a personal connection to God.  All in one all-natural pill!  And guess what?  The FDA couldn't touch that shit with a ten foot pole. 

If something sounds too good to be true it more than likely is.  If you are looking for a way to lose weight effectively eat a little less and move a little more.  It's a lot simpler than many would make it out to be.  But do not confuse simple with easy.  Losing weight and getting into shape is hard, it's just not very complicated.

Song of the Day:

"Wishes don't wash dishes." -American Proverb

Dubuque City Nights and Large Marges

Lance, Eric, and our friend Heath were all popping their competition cherries this weekend in Dubuque, Iowa.  I was told that Dubuque is the first place that a European set foot in Iowa.  I imagine his name being Jean-Luc Pontillier Dubuque.  He was probably a fur magnate with a coon skin cap, a huge killing knife, and a beard down to his belly button.  The French were much hardier in those days.

Lifting was on Saturday starting at 9:30 in the am.  Heath was in the first flight and Lance and Eric were in the second.  Powerlifting competitions always go squat, then bench, then deadlift.  Heath opened with a nice and easy 405.  He jumped up to 418 for his second attempt and made it look silly.  He went 440 on his third and got stuck at the bottom.  He thinks he lost concentration and went too far down.

Eric opened on squat at 420 and was down and up in the blink of an eye.  450 went pretty much the same way.  He then called for 501.  This was one of his goals since he got back into training.  His setup and focus were perfect.  The lift was never in doubt and he probably left 20 pounds or so on the platform.  Awesome job.  I was so proud.

Lance didn't squat because his diapers were too tight.

Both Lance and Heath were having shoulder issues and probably didn't do as well as they had hoped on the bench.  Heath made the rookie mistake of finishing the lift but not waiting for the rack command on his second attempt.  He came back and got it on his third.  Lesson learned.  Lance and Eric both missed third attempts by bringing the bar down too close to their necks.  Lesson learned. 

Deadlifts were next.  Heath opened with a 405 that was a little herky-jerky.  I gave him some pointers and he had a smooth as silk 440 on his second.  He then went for the gold and called for 479.  It broke the floor by about and inch but wasn't moving from there.  He had a great day and now has a 1st Place plaque and three meet PRs.

Eric went 420, 460ish, and 485 on deadlift and smoke-showed all of them.  His last two attempts were both PRs.  Eric took first in the super heavy weight division and also has a nice plaque to hang above his mantel.  He's made awesome progress in his short time back in the iron game and I'm expecting a lot of good things from him.

Lance went 440 and 485 on his first two attempts and killed both of them.  Like, literally murdered the shit out of them.  He called for 501 on his third and was brought back to justice.  The weight didn't move.  Either he had a great day, took first, and has also made a ton of progress.  He's got a lot of mobility issues that are starting to clear up and he's going to be making great progress as well.

As a coach I can't complain with three first place efforts.  The guys set some nice PRs along the way and I couldn't be prouder.  This is why I chose to become a strength coach.  I've helped get some guys interested and passionate about strength training.  Eric in turn has gotten his brother, Steve, into it as well.  I imagine this is why teachers find their jobs greatly rewarding.  Watching and helping others grow towards their goals is something that will never get old for me.

After the meet it was Mexican food, Monster Margaritas, and a lot of beer.  Great time in Dubuque.  We'll definitely be back. 

Today it's a lot of oranges, water, and sitting around with Saxon.  I have a feeling I'll be laying low for a few weekends to come.

Song of the Day

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." -Henry Adams (for all the teachers out there)

Just Working For the Weekend and The Cookie Monster

Snatch: 176x1,1

Deadlift: 375x5, 440x5, 506x5, 600x2 huge embarrassing failures (misses)

Pendlay Rows: 3x8

Chest Supported Rows: 3x10

This weekend a couple of NX Level's trainers are competing in various strength competitions.  Lance is doing a powerlifting meet in Dubuque, IA with our friends Eric and Heath.  I'll be going to coach/handle.  This means I will be doing hair and makeup before the meet starts, making sure their Evian is at just the right temperature, and offering my cheek for any limp-wristed slaps in case they miss a lift.  Actually I'll be guiding them through warm-ups, keeping them up to date on the order of lifters, making sure they are eating and drinking enough, and keeping them focused on the lifting.  After the meet we will all head over to Diamond Jo's Casino and hopefully win our beer money for the night and then drink and people watch.  Casinos are always good for that.

Jake is in Columbus Ohio today competing the Arnold Amateur Strongman Show.  As of this typing he is doing awesome and is in third overall.  If he finishes in the top 10 today then he competes again on Sunday.  He is a light weight pro but is competing as a heavy weight amateur.  This means that he has not had to watch his weight at all, much to the delight of me.  His nickname is Sugar because, well, the guy loves sugar.  I once saw him eat two gas station cookies in one bite.  And these cookies had some heft to them.  He almost choked.  The song of the day is in honor of him.

Song of the Day:

It is not book-learning young men need, nor instruction about this or that, but a stiffening of the vertebrae which will cause them to be loyal to a trust, to act promptly, concentrate their energies; do the thing – “carry a message to Garcia!" -Elbert Hubbard (from the essay "A Message to Garcia".  Highly recommended)

Thor's Day

Today is Thursday.  The day of the week we pay homage to Thor, the Norse god of thunder, humongous hammers, and apperently tiny loin cloths.  In his honor I decided to rain down some thunder of my own all over the gym.  Dropping weights, screaming, and hitting people with hammers while my long flowing locks of blonde hair blew in the wind.  The picture below pretty much sums up my training session.


Me (artist's depiction)

That's a total lie.  Here's what I really did.

Fat Bar Push Press: up to 205x5

Standing Press: 95x10, 115x10, 125x10

Dips: 5x10

w/

Fat Bar Curls: 5x5

Face Pulls: 3x20

Prowler 

Song of the Day:

“Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces."
-Henry David Thoreau

Some People Think I Ride With the Devil...

...but the devil rides alone.

Here is where I'm at today. 

No, but you can have a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up.

If I had leather chaps, Harley boots, a shaved head and a sweet neckerchief I'd be in full-on biker mode.  I would still be just a poser.  I rode my mom's Harley a couple times a number of years ago.  Most embarrassing biker moment would be either getting kicked out of Learn to Ride School because I was so bad I was "unteachable" and I was a "danger to myself and others" or setting the bike down coming out of the driveway because a car was coming and I panicked.  I'm such a vag.

I took away the chops and I feel good about it.  Today three separate people said they liked the look and that I should keep it.  I'm going to keep it for maybe another day or too.  I'll definitely keep it until my cold sore heals up.  That's what I get for kissing dirty girls.  Let that be a lesson to all you young men out there.

Song of the Day:

"A man without a mustache is like a cup of tea without sugar." -English Proverb

Keys To Progress: Part One, Consistency

This series of articles is going to lay out what I feel are the intangible virtues of those that progressively get better in whatever pursuit they may have. While these articles can be applied to any facet of life I'm going to use predominantly weightlifting examples because I'm a meathead at heart.

Consistency is the first of this series because it is absolutely the number one key to progress. All other things that help you progress come back to consistency. Having any inconsistencies in your training program will lead to diminished results in the long run. If you can't be consistent then you might as well stop fooling yourself and stay fat, lazy, unsuccessful and content on the couch. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is long term success in whatever you want to do.

In the last three years I could count on one hand the number of training sessions I've missed. My goals have changed throughout that time, but my consistency towards achieving them have not. I don't consider that any great feat either. I've felt like shit, been hungover, had to travel, been short on time, had little to no equipment, been hurt, yadda yadda yadda, and all the rest of the common excuses I hear yet I still got done what I needed to get done. But guess what? So do lots of people. Being consistent is part of who I am. If I'm passionate about something I find ways to fit it in. If I want to do something or change something about myself I don't sit around playing wishful thinking hoping that it will happen. Success doesn't happen by mistake.

I know where the weight room is.

Look at Jack LaLanne. The man has been consistent in his exercise regimen for-fucking-ever and he did shit at 70 most people couldn't do at 20. The man was successful in just about everything he did because he stayed consistent in his efforts to reach his goal of being the most bad ass nonagenarian the planet has ever seen. He was lifting weights and splittin' quiffs when he passed away at 96. His fight with death was probably as epic as Roddy Piper's and Keith David's fight scene in They Live. He more than likely woke up everyday and said, "I'm either going to kick ass or chew bubble gum today. Hmm, seems I'm all out of bubble gum." He practiced what he preached every day of his life.

This is old Jack at 71. Shit, I'd be happy if I looked like that now.

I will admit that consistency is a bit easier for me in that I don't have children, or even a significant other, and I work in a gym. I answer to no one outside of my job and feel a sense of responsibility to only my dog and very few other people. All I can say to that is, "Them's the cards." But, even if I were to wake up tomorrow with a wife and kids and a different job I would still be consistent in my training. Lot's of people have had amazing training careers with a plate full of other responsibilities. Training is a part of who I am and there is no way I'm about to go back on it now.

Consistency is not just showing up. Consistency is not doing the same thing day in and day out and expecting something greater in return. Consistency is not doing just enough to get by. I cannot preach this enough. Strive to consistently do more or better than what you have done in the past. When you do what you've always done, you get what you've always gotten. Consistent effort, consistent attention to detail, consistent learning, and sometimes consistent well thought-out change all play major roles in your progress. Any chinks in these links of armor and all of a sudden you've got a sword in your belly in the form of shitty results. Like I said, everything is predicated on consistency.

Maybe pedal harder? No? It's too hard? Well, have fun with that diabeetus, lady.

I've seen way too many people do great for three or four months, see some results, start to sputter in their attendance, and then be gone for the next six months. Then they return with a new sense of vigor and excitement and fall right back into the same cycle. I've seen people come in twice a week like clockwork, go through the motions, or don't do the things they need to do outside of the gym and never get any better. Don't be like these people. You want to learn calculus? You practice that shit every day. You want to squat 600 pounds? Get your ass under a barbell. You want to be an expert at tying knots? Fucking tie some knots every goddamn day, son. Set goals for yourself and consistently do what it takes to reach it. And if you don't reach it, you probably didn't really want it anyway. I once wanted to run a six minute mile but I never did. You know why? Because running is stupid.

My thoughts exactly Homer. No thanks.

The next few articles are going to feature other attributes that are important for progress and success but they all come back to consistency. If you cant be consistent then whatever bullshit effort you do give won't mean a hill of beans in this world, kid.

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's a trick question...Lemmy is God.

"Well friend, it's been a great two month ride.  But here is where we begin our exit.  I'll miss you.  This isn't goodbye.  It's see you later."

My beard has been growing strong for nigh on two months now.  And it's just about at the end of its run.  The last time I shaved was for New Year's in Chicago.  I got lazy for the first 2-3 weeks and then just said, "Fuck it." the rest of the way.  But here we are.  At the end of a two month era.  I'm going to shave it off a little bit at a time and keep each style for a day.  Here is the final product.



Smiling like an idiot: take 1

The first selection is the aptly named The Lemmy after Motorhead front man and bassist Lemmy Kilmister.  Lemmy Kilmister rocks harder than a metal band made up entirely of brick-shitting diamonds.  His gear definitely goes to 11.

And take 2

Training today went a little something like this...

A.M.

30 minute walk with Saxon

P.M.

Cleans: 264x1x2

Clean Pulls: 330x3x3

Front Squat: 135x10, 185x10, 205x6, 225x5,5

Prowler: 4 40 yard trips with 90 lbs

Jump Rope: 3 2-minute rounds with 30 seconds rest

Walking with Saxon is more of a controlled drag.  That dog would love nothing more than to sniff all the piss in the world.

Cleans felt OK.  I'm really focusing on maintaining posture from the ground.  Clean pulls were not the greatest.  They felt decently fast but the bar height didn't match my expectations.  I don't think I'm shrugging hard enough.

Front squats went well.  I'm weak on these right now.  I need to find a balance between back and front squatting.  I'm not sure where that is just yet.

Prowler and jump rope were just more conditioning.  I'm trying to gain weight right now but I'm really out of shape in the cardio sense.  I'm building towards a base that I can just maintain so I don't start feeling like a fat piece of shit.

Song of the Day:

"Ideas are like beards; men do not have them until they grow up." -Voltaire