Friday and Saturday

Thursday:

Axel Push Press/Jerk: Just did some triples and single on the push press and singles on the push jerk.  I was in the rack so I couldn't drop the bar so my weights stayed lower than what I'm capable of.  Bringing the bar back to my chest and then into the J-hooks was definitely the hardest part.

Glute Ham Raise: 5x5 with a band around my neck

DB Shrugs: 4x10

Conditioning stuff

Friday:

Squat: 4x10

Calf Raise: 3x12
w/
Chest Supported Rows: 3x15

Push Ups: 50

Going to be driving down to Chicago in a bit with a bunch of the guys from college for New Years Eve.  The bar we are going to has open bar from 8 pm to Close.  I'll take six Schlitz's...Aww fuck it whatever's free.  Have a fun and safe New Years everyone and I'll catch you in 2011.

Song of the Day:

“Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true" -Lord Alfred Tennyson

Tuesday and Wednesday.

Tuesday:

Chain Squat: 15 singles

Calf Raises: 3x15
w/
Shrugs: 3x10

Fat Bar Curls: 3x8

Squats felt decent.  Better than OK but not great.  I was a little high on a few.  My heaviest was 455 in bar weight with the 80 lbs. of chains.  The chains are completely off the ground which also forces me to use a lot of energy just for stability.  This is something that I think I need to make my squat better.

Wednesday:

I did a circuit at the Schroeder Aquatic Center where I train some swimmers twice a week.  This kicked my ass and I was definitely not prepared for it to.  I did four rounds, all sets were ten reps at each exercise.

Single Leg Step Downs
Inverted Row
Leg Curls
Push Ups with Knee Drive to Chest
Med Ball Slams

I'm out of cardio shape.  But guess what?  I don't give a shit.  I could muscle my way through a 5k if I wanted to.  But guess what else?  I have no desire to unless I'm being chased by something that could kill/eat me.

If you have ever felt the urge to say that people who like metal/hardcore/punk hate their parents I present you this song.  I've use the cliche myself and take back every time I said it.  This song rules and sums up the way I feel about my parents.

Song of the Day:

"Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything it is poured on." -Seneca

Sunday and Monday

Sunday:

I worked out at the bastion of futility known as the YMCA.  Watching what goes on there just makes me cringe.  One example: I was squatting in the rack and next to me on the decline bench was a guy doing behind the back wrist curls.  He commented on my squatting 405 as "big boy weights."  He then went over to the leg press put a shitload of plates on and did a bunch of quarter reps.  He finished with one more set of BHB wrist curls.  I really wish I had brought my ipod.

Close Stance Squat: bunch of singles

Push Press: bunch of singles

Chins: 30

Dips: 3x10

After training was the Packer game.  It was definitely good to see them put a complete game together.  They took one step closer to making the playoffs.  They just need to beat those pieces of shit Bears and they are in.

Monday:

Bench: worked up to 290 for a fast single then 275x1x5

Prowler: 4 hi 4 lo

Didn't have a bunch of time so I just benched took the prowler for a walk and then got out.  Boom.

This band is a side project for the lead singer of some other band.  All of there songs are about Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.  They rock harder than any band on the radio right now.  I'm looking at you Jake.

Song of the Day:

"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you." -Homer Simpson

Training and Good News

Thursday:

Sumo Dead Lift: 10 singles

Keg Clean and Press: 6 singles on each side

Single Arm Row: 2x10

After the second set of rows my SI joint in my low back lit up like an Xmas tree.  It felt like I was being stabbed.  I think the musculature that stabilizes my low back was fatigued and my body was sending me pain signals as a warning to take it easy.  This is my theory due to the fact that when I braced my abs and/or my glutes the pain went away.  The presence of stability in that region dissipated the pain signals.  I'm just going to have to take it easy the next couple of days.  These aches and pains are just a part of lifting.  Most of the bigger injuries can be mitigated by not totally gotten rid of.

Friday:

Bench Press: 5x10

Calf Raises: 3x15
w/
Band Pull Downs: 3x20

Now the good news.  After training I had a third interview with a potential candidate for "Best Friend."  After the interview I pulled the proverbial trigger and decided to adopt a rescue dog.  You can see his pics here.  His name is Jake right now but I am going to change it to Saxon.  Saxon was in a shelter in Ohio where he was slated to be destroyed.  According to Saxon's foster mom Ohio has probably the cruelest way of destroying dogs besides whatever comes to Michael Vick's sick imagination.  They put them all in a big room and run a hose from the window to a car muffler killing them with the exhaust.  Just awful. 

Anyway, Jake is getting fixed later next week and will be able to come home in early January.  He is super mellow and just likes to sit by you and get petted.  He was a little timid at first when he was at my house but got comfortable after a bit and started to look around.  I'm so excited.  PetSmart is going to be getting a bunch of my money soon.

One last thing, MERRY CHRISTMAS!  Have a safe and fun holiday everyone and cherish the time you have with the ones you love.

Song of the Day:

"If you've never been hurt you probably suck." -American javelin thrower

Wednesday

Feeling a little beat up and sore today so I just took it easy and did some light Olympic work.  The last couple of weeks I've done the Bear comples but just wasn't feeling it today.  Monday's squats and yesterday's bench has me a little frazzled.  I want to get three more sessions in this week so laying off a bit will help me do that.

Power Snatch: up to 80 kilos for 4 singles

Clean and Jerk: up to 100 kilos for 4 singles

I'm thinking sumo deadlift tomorrow.  I haven't done this in a coon's age.  I also suck at it.  A lot  It should be fun.

Song of the Day:

There is no way I can follow that song with anything.

Tuesday

Bench Press: 10x2, 2x10
w/
Reverse Hypers: 6x5

DB Shoulder Press: 10,8,6,4,2
w/
Pull Ups: 10,8,6,4,2

Sgl Leg Calf Raise: 3x15
w/
Face Pulls: 3x12

Bench felt really strong today.  Finished with 275 for my last two doubles and 205 for my two sets of ten.  Everything went up fast.  I think I was more focused on my technique and staying tight in my entire body.  Next week I'll work up to some singles and see what I can do.

And now the most metal Christmas video of all time.  My favorite part is the baby crying.

Song of the Day:

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit." -Kin Hubbard

Monday

Chain Squat: 10x2

Dips: 3x10
w/
Chain Squat: 2x10

Neck: 3x10
w/
Zottman Curls: 3x6

Squat felt really strong today.  My last set had 425 in bar weight and then the chains added about 80 lbs. at the top.  My knee still has some junk in it but didn't affect squatting at all.

I got my EFS neck harness in today and played around with it a bit.  Time to get a massive neck.  No more stack of dimes for this guy.

Song of the Day:

"It's often safer to be in chains than be free." -Franz Kafka

Sunday

Bench Press: 5x10

Bad Room Bent Row: 4x8
w/
Barbell Tricep Extensions: 3x10

Quick session down in Nitro's today.  My upper body pressing is by far the weakest link to getting to where I want to be power lifting wise.  The remedy: increased volume through increased frequency.  As much as I hat to admit it I need to bench press at least twice per week.  One day will be max effort work and the other day will be rep work.  This is not only going to make me stronger overall in the lift, but will reinforce my technique in the lift.  Technique is what I think is holding me back in progressing in the lift.  We'll see how it goes.

Last night I watched the Vince Lombardi special on HBO.  Very interesting.  The man is lionized by so many people it's kind of sad to see how his devotion and obsession to football came at the cost of many people close to him.  If you have a chance check it out.

Song of the Day:

"We only want winners." -Vince Lombardi

Friday and Saturday

Friday:

Single Arm Snatches: bunch of singles

Farmers Walk: 8 sets of 25 yards

After work Matt Cerra, Joe Flick and I went pn a bro-date for steaks at the Five O'Clock Club in Milwaukee.  They wanted to take me out as a Christmas/show their appreciation gift.  They couldn't have picked a better spot.  I had the medium Ribeye.  I can easily say this was the best cut of meat I've ever had.  It was grilled first then char-broiled so it had a nice crust to it.  It was so tender I could've cut it with a mental patient's pair Saf-T-Cut scissors.  It's the kind of steak that all other steaks will be measured against for the rest of my life.  Unless I'm eating at the Five O'Clock Club.  Thanks again guys.

Saturday:

Nitro St. Justice's Barbell Club and Gentleman's Lounge is now up and running.  All are welcome but you must be on a quest for maximum pumpitude.  No poofters that want to "get toned" are allowed.  There are only free weights, bars, squat stands, a jenky platform, squat stands, and a bench.  The floor is uneven, you can't press if you're standing up, it can get kind of cold, only punk, heavy metal, and certain classic rock is allowed to be played, it will be a tight squeeze for more than one person, if you are taller than 6'3" you might have trouble squatting, and there are no windows.  Is it perfect?  No.  Is it awesome?  Yes.  Is it going to be the place where I will leave my humanly form and pass on into oblivion?  Probably.  Is there a better way to go than being crushed while lifting something heavy?  I could think of a few.

                                         The Epicenter

                                         Formerly The Bad Room

After I got everything situated I did some training.

Close Grip Incline: 10x3
w/
Barbell Glute Extensions: 10x3

Calf Raises: 4x15
w/
Barbell Reverse Curls: 3x10

Now it's time for some wings, a beer or two, and some subpar college bowl games.

Song of the Day:

"Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific." -Bill Cosby

Last Few

Been busy the last few days so here we go...

Monday:

Front Squat: 12x2
w/
Power Shrug: 10x3

Tuesday:

Bench: 15x1
w/
Pin RDL: 10x3

Wednesday:

Bear Complex: 5x5

Rope Tabata: 4 minutes

Thursday:

Olympic Squat: 15x1
w/
Chin Ups: 5,4,3,2,1,5,4,3,2,1

On Monday I tweaked my right knee just a bit and it's been a bit swollen since.  Nothing serious just a little inflammation.  Despite that I felt really strong today.  None of the chin up sets felt hard and my last set on squat was at 455 and didn't feel like anything too heavy.  My nutrition has been on point and I've been making it a priority to get to bed earlier each night.  Those two things are often what is missing from an effective training program.  Especially the sleep aspect.  I'm going to write up a post about the importance of sleep this weekend.  Stay tuned.

Song of the Day:

"As a day well spent brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death." Leondardo da Vinci

Saturday

Axel Push Press: 12x2
w/
Leg Curls: 10x3

Legs were feeling beat up so I took it easy on them.  Overhead pressing needs to get stronger.  This will carry over into my bench.  I've heard people say the best way to bench 400 is to press 300.  I'm a ways behind that but you get my point.

Saturday night was our Christmas party at Brad's house.  Him and his wife Stacy put on a great party.  Lot's of food, drinks, people, dogs, etc.  I easily won the John Daly Drunkest There Award.  That Jameson I tell ya.  Whiskey and water is my drink of choice and there was plenty to go around.  I had four down when we started playing Catchphrase and they all hit me at the same time.  My clues got progressively worse and worse until I was probably barely making words by the end.  My team more than likely hated me.  That's what happens when a bunch of type A competitive people get together and play meaningless board games though.  Oh well, I had fun as I'm sure everyone else did.  Can't wait til next year.

Song of the Day:

"They say some of my stars drink whiskey.  But I have found that the ones that drink milkshakes don't win many ball games."
-Casey Stengel

Last Few

Wednesday:

Bear Complex: Power Clean, Push Press, Front Squat, Push Press, Back Squat, Push Press

This complex is performed by doing one of each exercise listed in order.  Once done with last push press return the bar to the ground.  Rep one is thus completed.  I did 5 sets of 5.  I had fire in my lungs for a while afterwards.

Thursday:

Back Squat: 10x3

Good Mornings: 5x5

Prowler

Forearms and Curls

Friday:

Power Cleans: 15x1

Bench: 10x3

Inverted Rows and Pull Ups

Band Pull Aparts and Tri Push Downs

I'm feeling good lately.  In the past I would have never been able to handle this kind of volume.  That was all in my head though.  I still feel sore but being sore is not a very good contraindicator to exercise.  And I like to train.  Once I get going I'm in the zone and I get done what I need to get done.  Bam.

Tomorrow is the NX Level company Christmas Party.  My contribution is going to be bacon wrapped Lil' Smokies, Christmas cookies that my wonderful Grandma Donna, Aunt Patti, and mother Cindy made for me, and 1L of Jameson Irish Whiskey.  I'm going to eat so much food and maybe enjoy a few aperitifs.  That last statement is only 3/4 true.  I'm going to drink more than my fair share of that Jameson.  Last year we stayed up until 4 am and then I had to work at 7 am the next morning.  This year it's on a Saturday so there will be nothing holding me back.  I'm going for an eight to ten pound Sunday bloat.  I'll probably only drink coffee and cranberry juice to help get some water out.  Maybe some sweating down in Nitro St. Justice's Barbell Club & Gentleman's Lounge as well.  We'll play that one by ear.

Song of the Day:


"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for." -Irish Proverb

Last Two

Monday:

Back Squat to Behind the Neck Push Press: 7x3
w/
Dips: 7x3
w/
V-Grip Chins: 7x3

Prowler

Grip

Tuesday:

Log Clean and Press: 12x1
w/
Trap Bar DL: 10x3

Tricep Push Downs: 3x15
w/
Neck Flexion & Extension: 3x10
w/
Straight Bar Curl: 3x10

I hate deload weeks, so I'm not deloading.  Jumping right back in with both feet.  I'm going to slowly ramp up by training frequency (sessions/week) to somewhere around 9 or 10.  I'll have to do doubles on some days but that's ok.  I'm still thinking about how I'm going to go about this.  I'm thinking the morning sessions will be lighter rep sessions in the basement with the afternoon being for heavier stuff at NX Level. 

This brings me to another point.  West Allis Barbell closed for the season a while ago.  This week will mark the Grand Opening of Nitro St. Justice's Barbell Club & Gentleman's Lounge.  I'm going to move the squat stands, the bench, the bars, the weights, and Glute Ham into the middle room of the basement.  The front room is storage and laundry.  The back room is the Bad Room where I go to break bottles and cry.  But that's for another post altogether.

Song of the Day:

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” -Emerson

Meet Recap

I left for Dubuque, IA Friday early afternoon and got there and checked in without a hitch.  From then up until I got to the meet on Saturday morning was an adventure to say the least.

Upon entering my room at the Motel 6 I tried not to think about the literally gallons of bodily fluids that were hiding out in random places in my room.  I checked out each towel before I used it which was a good thing.  The hand towel by the sink had a few stains from guests past.  I'm sure it had been cleaned but probably should have been retired a while ago.  By the look of it it was either used to clean up blood or it was used as a C-rag.  I've been a guy for 26 years and expressing that masculinity successfully for 13 or 14.  I know what it looks like and if not taken care of it can leave a stain.

On my way to weigh-ins which was five minutes from my hotel I got stuck in traffic.  There was a huge car fire about 200 yards in front of me.  A major thoroughfare in Dubuque was then closed for an hour while firefighters got the fire under control and cleaned up the scene.  While I was sitting in traffic it began to snow.  It wasn't a blizzard but it definitely made the rest of the trip interesting.  I narrowly missed weigh-ins by the skin of my ass.  I weighed-in at 214 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal.

After weigh-ins I went straight to a Chinese buffet about a mile away from my hotel to get my bloat on.  Two and a half plates of MSG laden food stuffs later I was ready to call it a night.

Saturday morning I woke up to about five inches of snow and an unpaved lot.  The way Motel 6's building was set up I had to drive down a fairly steep incline to get to park by my room.  My truck has rear-wheel drive (which is by far the dumbest invention ever.  I hope whoever invented it and decided it would go good on a truck has had a very unhappy life and dies alone and sad.) and does not do well in the snow.  I had to try five times getting a running start to get the truck up the hill.  I was not happy to say the least.

On to the meet.  Here's how it broke down.

Squat
518- good lift
540- no lift- depth
556- no lift- depth

I was kind of disappointed in the squat.  The second one I was high.  But the third I took video of and watched it and I really don't think I was high.  I'll admit it could have gone either way and it's up to me to leave no doubt but I saw some other squats that were high than mine and were given three whites.  I'm not a judge and I didn't see it from their perspective so I really have nothing to complain about.  I know I'm strong enough to handle the weight.  That gives me confidence moving forward.

Bench
264- good lift
286.5- good lift
292- no lift

Second attempt went up like nothing.  I stalled on 292 about half way up and couldn't fight through it.  I think I let it float out a bit and that's what did me in.  Moving on.

Dead lift
538- good lift
584- good lift
589.5- good lift- all-time PR

Not much to say here.  I was happy with the PR.  It was a struggle but I think 600 is not too far out of reach.

Total- 1393.5

All in all the meet was definitely a success.  I hit a PR and narrowly missed two others.  I also learned a lot about how to set up my training.  Here's a few nuggets of truth I stumbled upon.

1. I do better only dead lifting once every few weeks.
2. I need to bench more than once per week and do more pressing in general.
3. I'm going to start wearing my heavy knee sleeves again to keep my knees healthy.

Now it's time to rest, relax, and recover.  I'll be getting back at it tomorrow.  My long term goals are still not fulfilled and I fully intend on fulfilling them to their fullest.  Full.

Song of the Day:

"There is nothing so fatal to character as half finished tasks."
-David Loyd George

Saturday

Last real session before my meet on December 4th.  Just wanted to work up to my last warm up set, hit a few accessories, and get out.

Squat: 315x1; 365x1; 405x1; 455x1

DB RDLs: 3x10

Leg Curl: 3x10

That's it, that's all, that's all there is.  This coming week is going to be a lot of mobility stuff.  Nothing heavy (worth writing about).  I'll try to think up some interesting topics to touch on in place of normal training stuff.

Song of the Day:

"To be prepared is half the victory." -Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Happy Thanksgiving!

Got a little morning training in on this, the greatest day of the year.

Bench: up to a single at 265

Inverted Rows: 3x10
w/
DB Shoulder Press: 2x10

Cable Scarecrows: 2x12
w/
Cable Triceps: 2x12

Volume is a lot lower.  Saturday will be my last real training session before my meet on December 4th.  I feel like I'm peaking well and it should be a great meet.  Now it's time to eat until I feel guilty about how big of a glutton I am.  Nom nom nom!

Song of the Day:

“From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no life lives for ever;
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea"
-Algernon Charles Swinburne

What I'm Thankful For

In case you just crawled out from somewhere tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  It's a time to reflect on all the positives in one's life.  Normally I would prefer people to do this every day of the year, but I'll let it pass on account of the awesome meal.  Here is what I'm thankful for this day and everyday:

• My health and the health of all my loved ones
• My family and friends
• My career as a performance coach and all the great people I work with
• My blue-collar attitude towards life that was instilled in me by my father
• The troops
• The roof over my head
• The clothes on my back
• The food on my plate

Now that I've got the important stuff out of the way here are some of the less vital things I'm thankful for:

• Budweiser, Jameson, and all of the other tasty, tasty alcohols
• Nitrous to get me through getting my cavities filled
• Fast cars, loose women
• Huge beds
• Iron weights
• Books
• Democracy
• The Internet
• Loyal dogs
• Underwear fresh out of the drier
• Back Rubs
• Caffeine
• Rock 'N' Roll (Punk, metal, classic rock, etc)

There are countless other things that I'm thankful for.  These are but a few off the top of my head.  The point is is that I've got it pretty good.  There are very few reasons why I should ever be in a bad mood and the only ones that I can think of involve someone dying.  So on this day think about what you are thankful for and keep it with you every day going forward, not just until the end of dinner.  Speaking of which, I'm going to eat so much fucking turkey.

Song of the Day:

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." -W.T. Purkiser

Tuesday Tuggin'

Power Clean: 242x1x3

Deadlift: worked up to 528 for a fast and easy single

Glute Ham Hypers: 2x15
w/
DB Shrugs: 2x15

Weighted Bridge Holds: :20 on, :10 off for two minutes

Today went awesome and has given me tons of confidence going into next Saturday.  Last week this weight on deadlift felt heavy as shit.  Today it went up fast and smooth.  I don't think 600 is out of reach.

I've almost forgotten but Thursday is the best day of the entire year; Thanksgiving.  Food, family, and football.  Life doesn't get much better than that.  Tomorrow I'm going to run down all the things I'm thankful for.  There is a chance it might get kind of vulgar.  I like some weird stuff.  Stay tuned.

Song of the Day:

"You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals." Gen. George S. Patton

Weekend Breakdown

Friday night Lance and I made an executive decision and decided not to go to Chicago for a concert.  Eric drove up after work and we started out the night with a Four Loko each.  In case you haven't been watching local news Four Loko is the energy drink/malt beverage that has been labeled as "Blackout in a can."  Apparently they've killed a few people that can't handle their liquor.  I went with Lemonade, Eric had Watermelon, and Lance had Blue Raspberry (total girl flavor).  I was tired going in to the night but not after finishing the Four Loko.  The rest of the night is a little sketchy but I'm sure it was a good time.

Saturday after drinking as much water as possible we headed over to NX Level to train.  Eric dead lifted, Lance did strongman, and I did my last heavy squat before my meet in December.

Squat: 455x1; 500x1; 525x1

Lower Body Circuit: Reverse Hyper, Glute Ham Hyper, TRX Fallouts; all 3x10

525 is probably going to be my opener.  I just wanted to work up to it to see how it felt.  It wasn't super fast on the way up, but my technique didn't break down which means that I've got a good amount left in the tank.  At the meet I'll be using a monolift as well so I won't have to walk the weight out.  In my opinion this can mean a lot.  You don't waste energy getting your feet right.  It could add an extra 10-20 lbs to my squat.

After training we headed back home to meet up with Lance's parents.  They cooked Thanksgiving dinner for us and it was delicious.  Highlight of the night was as Eric and I were in line at the food table Eric made me laugh and I drooled into the green bean casserole.  I struggled to breath from laughing for about the next four minutes from the joke Eric made and the fact that I had just drooled all over the food.  There have been a few moments in my life were I've done something that made me think what the hell am I doing with myself.  This was definitely one of them.

The Barilow's left a little after dinner.  Another Four Loko and a few beers later we were all to stuffed to go out.  Lance, Eric, and I stayed up for a bit talking about and solving America's problems.  Problem number one: reality TV.  Problem number two: the fact that if you can sign your name you can get by in this country. A whole lot of nothing was actually solved but it was a great weekend either way.

Now I've got a date with my couch and TV.  Boom.

Song of the Day:

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Thursday

Bench: worked up to 275x1; 225x12

Weighted Dips: 5x5

DB Military Press: 2x10
w/
Bicep Curls: 2x10

Cable Scarecrows: 2x12

Bench felt good today.  275 was a smoke show.  Easy.  225 for 12 I think is a PR at that weight but it doesn't really matter.  I'm thinking 275ish is going to be my opener for my meet.  We'll see though. 

This weekend is going to kick ass.  Eric is coming up tonight.  Training Saturday morning.  Then, Lance's parents, Doug and Bonnie, are coming and making us Thanksgiving Dinner.  By far the best meal of all time.  I know a lot of people had to die in order for me to enjoy turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed taters, and all the rest, and I appreciate all of their brave service to this, the greatest holiday of all time.

Song of the Day:

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." -Vince Lombardi

Funny Story

No training today, but I had a funny conversation with a female client.  Fellas, listen close.  Jenny (name changed) came in this morning around 10:30 and she had make-up around her eyes.  She's a college soccer player so I jokingly asked if she had gone out last night.  She tried to tell another trainer and I, "No" but we eventually got it out of her that she had gone on a date.  After a bit of razzing Jenny and I continued with the training session.  During Jenny's workout she hang cleaned 140 twice and narrowly missed 154.  Jenny is probably one of maybe 5 females in the place that could pick up 154 double overhand, let alone attempt a hang clean.  As we were taking the weights off the bar I asked her, "If you found out that you could hang clean more than your date would you still date him?"  She replied with one of those I-don't-knows that is about 90% hell no and about 10% maybe.  Definitely no "yes" in that answer.  The only better answer would have been a flat out "No."

 
Fellas, even women want us to be stronger than them.  For the most part they don't give two shits if we have abs.  They want us to be able to move furniture and kitchen appliences for them.  And this skinny jeans, metrosexual bullshit needs to stop.  I'm all for dressing nice and what not but shit, man the fuck up already.

Tuesday

Power Snatch: worked up to 186 for two singles

Deadlift: worked up to 520 for two singles

Pull Throughs: 3x15
w/
Pull Ups: 3x5

Glute Ham: 3x6
w/
Face Pulls: 3x15

Abs: three sets

Deadlift went ok.  My knees have been killing me lately and I could feel them on every rep today.  Instead of push it hard I worked up to a weight I was comfortable with and cut it there.  I've been adding in more volume via increased exercise frequency (I train more days per week) and I think this is why they are sore.  They just need a little down time.

Song of the Day:

“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do." -attributed to Shaquille O'Neil.

Saturday Strongman

Log Clean and Press: worked up to some heavy singles.  I think in the 215ish range.

Tire Flips: 600 lb tire 2 sets of 5; 1 set of 10

Yolk: Five pounds less than the amount of weight it takes to crush vertebrae for 20 yards

Stones: 240 over a 46" bar a few times.  280 picks a few times

Jake was kind enough to help Lance and I out today.  He's a professional, card-carrying, strong man.  He gave us a lot of good pointers on the yolk and especially the stones. 

I was shot after this.  Knees are sore, back is pumped, moustache is ruffled.  Burritos, ice cream, and beers are in due order.

Song of the Day:

“As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters." -Seneca

Fancy Friday

Clean and Jerk: up to 262x1 (PR)

Single Arm Dead Lift: Regular grip up to 242x1 each side; hook grip 262x1 each side; straps up to 338 for two singles on each side

Rope Pull/ Bag Carry: 3x25 yards

Didn't really have a plan in place going in.  Kind of just went with whatever tickled my fancy.  Took about an hour, got my heart rate up, got a sweat going, got the H.E. double hockey sticks out.  Boom.

Song of the Day:

“Thou wilt find rest from vain fancies if thou doest every act in life as though it were thy last." -Aristotle

Thursday

First and foremost I'd like to give a big thank you to all veterans past and present.  You sacrifice what many of us simply will not.  Thank you for your service.  Whether or not you believe in the conflict the troops are what really matter.  Thank you again for making the USA A-OK.

Bench: worked up to 275 for 3 singles

Bench: 3x10 @185
w/
V-Grip Chins: 3x10

Shrugs: 3x10

BW Dips: 3x15
w
Curls: 3x10

Rotators

Not a bad day.  Bench felt smooth and somewhat fast.  I'm thinking somewhere in the 290 range is where I'll be come meet time.  Just need to keep my nose to the grindstone.

Song of the Day:

“It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle." -Norman Schwarzkopf

Tuesday

Squat: 455x1; 405x5; 425x5; 455x3

Axel Dead Lift: 485 for two singles

Blue Band Good Mornings: 3x15

Glute Ham Hypers: 3x12

Abs: 3 sets

Twenty-six years ago today I sprang forth from my mother's womb like a pink throw pillow being pushed through a door that's only been opened about 2.5 inches.  Patton Oswalt expresses perfectly my feelings towards today.



"I'm 26!"
"Who gives a shit?  Go to work." 
Thank goodness for pop culture.  Saying things much better than any of us could.

Either way I was pretty happy with the training today.  Squats felt good, deads felt good, accessory felt good, etc. etc.  But seriously thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes.  I'm very lucky to have such great people in my life.  I tried to keep my birthday under wraps but some people just had to go and be nice about it (tongue-in-cheek.)

Song of the Day:

“The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune." -Pope Paul VI

Strongman Saturday

Log Clean and Press: 5x5 with a bunch o' weight

Tire Flips: 4x5 flips with 600 lbs. of widow-making vulcanized rubber and radial steel

Yolk Walk: 5 trip of 200 yards with a weight that only Rain Man, a supercomputer, and/or J.C. his/herself could count to.  Not really, it was like 500.

Keg Cleans: 21 reps with the big 'un

Stone Picks: bunch of reps with the 240 lb. little boy.  Going to maybe bring the 280 lb fat man inside soon.

Saturday Lance and I were picking up heavy shit while ya'll was making breakfast for somebody.  We had to be somewhere at ten so we got in early and got out a little later.  Just a bunch of strongman events that are old hat to Jake and the like, but are tough as shit for Lance and I.  I know a little bit about the technique on certain events, enough to be effective, but knowledge is what we crave since neither of us is all that good at any of them.  Perfect practice makes perfect though. 

After a morning of spine crunching weight exorcising we made 2 lbs of sloppy joe's and finished it up with a turtle cheesecake.  There were no survivors except for four buns that weren't going to be used anyhow.

Song of the Day:

“Nothing is more dishonorable than an old man, heavy with years, who has no other evidence of his having lived long except his age." -Senca

Tuesday

Squat: 455x1; 495x1; 525x1

Clean Pulls (fast deadlift): singles at 350ish

High Bar Deep Knee Rock Squats: (yam bag to the ground) 185x10; 225x10x2
w/
Glute Ham Hypers: 3x12

Pretty good day today.  The last squat was slower than a turtle going through peanut butter but I got it.  Walking out and squatting 525 to depth gives me a lot of confidence going into my meet.  I'm thinking in the 560ish range.  It's a bit too early to start prognosticating though.

Song of the Day:

“High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation." -Charles F. Kettering

Monday

Axel Clean and Jerk:  some reps with some weight.

Farmer's Carry: 20 yards x 200 lbs. x 4

In case you are unfamiliar with the axel, it is a 2" thick hollow bar.  It weighs about 35 lbs.  The main purpose is to make your grip and shoulders work harder since your hand is more spread out.

Farmer's carries require specially made cylinders with handles attatched that can be loaded with weight.  You then pick them up and walk for a specified distance.  Imagine a farmer carrying two calves by the scruff to the slaughter house.  Simple as that.  The 200 lbs. is 200lbs. in each hand for 400 lbs. total.

Good day today.  Got a sweat going.  Handled some heavyish weights.  Got out in about an hour.  Boom.

Song of the Day:

“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.” -Robert Frost

Halloween

Today, October 31st is the day commonly referred to as All Hallows Eve aka Halloween aka International Dress Like A Slut Night (I'm not complaining about the last one one bit.)

Halloween is a conglomeration of ancient Celtic practices, Catholic religious ceremonies, and European folk traditions.  The ancient Celt's believed that today was a day that the dead could come back to earth and that their priests, the Druids, could make predictions about the coming year.  They would light bonfires, wear costumes, and have dozens of eggs ready to throw to ward off these spirits.

Now it is a secular community-based holiday revolving around kid's costumes, Trick-or-Treating, and seeing who can out-whore who.  Here's a look back at some of my Halloween costumes from the past couple of years.

Who doesn't like clowns?

I don't even think this is from Halloween, but it's scary as hell.

 Terry Bernadino from Reno 911.

 Nitro from American Gladiators.

(Yes, those bulges are mine, in the arms and elsewhere.)

Hottest Chippendale's dancer you know.

So there you have it.  Halloween in all it's glory.  I didn't dress up this year but maybe next year I'll think of something good.  I've got some ideas brewing.

Song of the Day:

"On Halloween parents sent their kids out looking like me." -Rodney Dangerfield

Saturday

Single Arm Snatch: 110x1 each side; 120x1 each side; 130x1 on right; 130x0on left

Front Squat: 315 for two singles

Stone Picks: a bunch

First off, I want to say thank you to my mother, Cindy.  She donated the first $10 to my Movember team.  To donate you can go here.  Thanks mom.

Pretty good day today.  It was Lance, Matt, Joe, and I at the gym today.  Just some dudes getting strong.  Afterwards Lance and I cooked up some steak sandwiches and washed it down with some Moose Tracks ice cream.  I'm pretty much the happiest camper you know right now.  Here's a video of my set of 120 on the SAS.

Notice the sweet 'stache.

Song of the Day:

“The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.” -Robert Frost

Friday

Behind the Neck Push Press: 225x2; 235x2; 250x1

Tire Flips: 3x3

Keg Clean and Press: 165er for two single on each side.

Alright loyal readers.  I'm going to lay it on the line.  The upper lip line as it were.  I'm growing a moustache.  This isn't some bold statement I'm making.  I'm not trying to repopularize the moustache (even though I probably will.) 

                                             How do you improve upon perfection?

No, this is about helping my fellow man.  I'm doing this with/for a group of men that do this every November and raise funds for prostate cancer awareness and research.  It's called Movember.  Men sign up and donate their face and a few bucks to the cause.  The moustache has become such a conversation piece that it won't be hard to get a few words in edgewise to support the cause.  Here are some facts about prostate cancer:

• This is the second most common cancer affecting men after lung cancer
• The risk of developing the cancer increases after the age of 50
• There are over 2 million men in the U.S. currently living with prostate cancer
• The 5-year survival rate is 98% and the 10-year is 84%
• About 1 in 2 men will get this cancer

All of this goes back to early detection.  Men, that means getting your prostates checked by your doctors.  I'm looking at you Craig Robert Dequaine.

You can check out my Mospace page here.  I don't have a picture up as I type this but one will be forthcoming.  So if you have the testicular fortitude to give up your face for one month join the cause.  If you don't have the testicular fortitude (or testicles) then donate a few spare bucks.  If you do neither you obviously love cancer, hate men, and hate America.
Song of the Day:

“Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was--like eating an egg without salt." -Rudyard Kipling

Thursday

Bench (all paused): 225x1; 245x1; 265x1; 275x1; 275x1; 205x8; 205x5

Chin Ups: x6,5,4,4

Dips: 4x12
w/
Hammer Curls: 3x10

TRX Scarecrow: 3x12
w/
Rope Push Down: 3x12

Bench felt decent today.  Pausing always throws me for a loop the first time I do it.  From here on out I'll probable pause all my work sets in preparation for my meet.  I like doing bodyweight assistance exercises for my main assistance work on my upper body days.  Bodyweight stuff doesn't tear up my shoulders and elbows like some other stuff can.  My right shoulder feels like it's always on the verge of being a problem, but as of yet hasn't manifested into anything.  Train hard.  Train smart.  Don't be like Coach McGuirk.



I've been pumped all week.  Lance, who I've mentioned many a time, is moving in with me this weekend.  He is going to be working at NX Level starting Monday.  He's super excited and I am as well.  We're basically a Gruesome Twosome the likes of which have rarely been seen.  It's going to be like Lethal Weapon.  He's Riggs, I'm Murtaugh, Eric is Leo Getz (Joe Pesci).  Anytime we get into any kind of shenanigans I'll be there to mumble, "I'm getting too old for this sh-" EXPLOSION!  So pumped.

Song of the Day:

“After fifteen minutes nobody looks at a rainbow” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Two For Tuesday

Monday

Jump Squat: 3x5 @ 155

Weighted V Grip Chin: 6 singles @ +70 lbs.

Quick in, quick out.  Nothing special.

Tuesday

Squat: 425x2, 455x2, 475x2

Pause Squat: 355x5

Power Clean: 264x1x6

Glute Ham: 3x10
w/
DB Shrugs: 3x12

Abs: 3x10

Squats felt good today.  Depth wasn't an issue.  I just need to remember to keep sitting back into the hole.  First rep at 475 was nice and fast.  Second rep was a grinder.  No worries.  I only have to do one rep each attempt on December 4.  Deadlifting is taking the day off and doing power cleans instead.  Nothing too hard.  My form is, how do you say, shitty.  Oh well.  Sue me.

Song of the Day:

“Licence my roving hands, and let them go
Before, behind, between, above, below.”
-John Donne (16th-17th century pimp)

Saturday

Single Arm Snatch: 125x1x3 on each arm

Front Squat: 295x1x3; 315x1x3

Single Arm Row: 3x10

Dips: 4x10

"Fuck safety." -Geothe.  I'm paraphrasing a bit but that was my attitude going in and will be my attitude going forward.  I had a rough outline of what I wanted to do today but nothing written in stone.  I spent my morning reading this site and was all kinds of jacked to throw some iron around. 

I haven't done single arm snatches or front squats in mad long but they felt pretty damn good.  Like real good.  The most I've ever done for a single on front squat is 365 so to do three singles at 315 is pretty damn good for me.  Now it's time for food, a shower, and some reading and/or football for the rest of the weekend.

Song of the Day:

"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world." -Mark Shafer

Thursday

Bench: 265x2; 275x1; 205x12

V-Grip Chin: 3x10
w/
DB Incline: 3x10

Face Pulls: 3x12
w/
Push Ups: 3x15

Rotators: 3 sets

Motivation was in short supply today.  No real reason for it, just kind of tired.  But I soldiered through it.  Bench felt good once I got going.  Nothing felt too heavy or slow.  I really focused on pushing the bar back towards the rack instead of straight up.  When it's done thusly gravity actually gives you a little assistance.  Whodathunk!?

Song of the Day:

"I'm not a teacher, but an awakener." -Robert Frost

Tuesday

Squat: worked up to 455x3

Pause Squat: 335x5x2

Deadlift: 555x1

45` Back Extension: 3x10

Glute Ham Hyper: 3x10

Very good session today.  Squats felt deep and were never in doubt.  Pause squats got tough at the end, but that's what I want.  I didn't release my air on the 555 DL when I should have and it felt like something was trying to explode its way through my chest.  In a way something kind of was, a giant air bubble.  Not too much else to say.

Since I started my lift with this song it's only fitting that I end this post with it.

Song of the Day:

"In this world, a man must either be anvil or hammer." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Packer Sunday

I couldn't have asked for a better day to be at Lambeau Field today.  Not a cloud in the sky, temperatures in the low to mid sixties, some good food, some cold beers, and my family (for the most part).  I don't really want to talk about the game.  I'm frustrated at this point with the team.  They have talent on offense but can't turn that into points.  They are beat to shit and are putting practice squad players on the field but they can't use that as an excuse.  Needless to say they lost today.  When I was a kid and went to the games I used to fantasize that a bunch of players would get hurt and Mike Holmgren would point into the stands and say, "Troy!  We need ya pal.  Wadda say?"  That's why they lost today.  Mike McCarthy couldn't pull the trigger and yell, "Dequaine!  Get your ass in there and give me a G-D pass rush!"  Yessir coach!

What made it worse was that I was sitting in front of quite possibly the most negative fan in the world.  No matter what happened it was always a worse case scenario.  Every player when they made a mistake was met with, "So and so, you suck!"  I bet this suck has never played a competitive sport in his life.  He's probably never had anybody watching and critiquing his every move.  Yet he feels he is justified in making bullshit comments about professional athlete.  In fact, any one person on the field could probably end his pathetic life if they so choose.  This asshole at one point towards the end of the game actually said, "Rodgers make a clutch play for once."  Are you F-ing kidding me?   People like him make me not even want to go to games.  It's pathetic.  Guy who was sitting in Section 113 Row 29 Seat 1, either be more positive at games and cheer when something good happens instead of unending derision or get face-cancer-AIDS and die the slowest most painful death possible.  Your choice.

There were also a few very weird things to happen to me today.  I'll rank them from least to most.

3.  My Aunt Patti bit my ear as I was hugging her goodbye.  Weird Scale: 3. 

2.  Some of my step dad Pete's friends were doing the shocker hand symbol while getting their picture taken.  My dad asked me what that was.  All I had to do was say that I was very uncomfortable telling him what it meant and he figured it out and dropped it.  Weird Scale: 7

1.  Long story short, my mom heard something weirder than my aunt biting my ear happened to me and asked what that was.  I tried to explain #2 above but her and my 75 year-old grandmother were just not getting it.  They were also trying to figure out The Shocker.  Some of their guesses: peeing on an electric fence and someone shoving their fingers up your butt (so close).  Even though they couldn't figure it out they just wouldn't drop it.  So here I am in a car with my dad, my mom, and my grandmother trying to circumvent explaining The Shocker to everyone.  I almost resorted to explaining it as I would to an inquisitive six-year-old asking about the birds and the bees by using nothing but euphemisms.  "Sometimes a man and a women, who love each other very much, will do something called The Shocker.  The man will hold Thumbkin and Ring Man together.  Then he will put Pointer and Tall Man into the women's "down there" and Pinky will go into her "bummers."  Thank whatever is out there I didn't have to do that. 

Weird Scale: OFF THE FUCKING CHARTS

All in all it was a good day.  Would've been better with a Packer's win, but what can you do?

Song of the Day:


“That's my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck's back. If it's not positive, I didn't hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy." -George Foreman

Saturday

Clean and Jerk: worked up to 242 for 3 singles (tweaked the absolute shit out of my neck on the last one.)

Log Press: 3x5 at 163

Single Arm Row: up to 120s x 15
w/
Blue Band Good Mornings: 2x15

TRX Inverted Row: 2x15
w/
Band Tricep Push Downs: 2x25

Tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year.  This is the day that I get to go to a Packer game with the man, the myth, the legend, THE Craig Dequaine.  The man was half the equation in making me so you know he's bad ass.  Every year for Christmas his gift is that him and I go to a game of his choosing on me.  The first Packer game I ever went to was with him.  September 1992, Don "The Majik Man" Majkowski gets his ankle blown the fuck up and who comes in?  That's right, Brett "I'll Send You Some Dick Pics" Favre.  He throws the game winning touchdown to Kitrick Taylor, this former fat kid says, "Whoo Hoo!  Heck yes!" and the rest is history. 

Song of the Day:

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters." -George Herbert

Tuesday

Squat: 455x1; 500x1; 525x1

Pause Squat: 315x5x2

Speed Sumo Deadlift: six singles @ 284

Reverse Hyper: 2x10
w/
Glute Ham Hyper: 2x10

TRX Fallouts: 3x10

I was a little disappointed in my squat today.  I was told by my spotter that I was a little high on my heavier singles.  This isn't a mobility issue, or even a strength issue.  I'm just not comfortable and I don't trust myself all the way down.  To that end I decided to cut out the reverse band squats and went with pause squats.  With the pause squats I took about 60% of my 1RM and made sure I was deeper than parallel and paused at the bottom for about 1-2 seconds on each rep.  Hopefully this will make me stronger coming out of the hole and more comfortable getting into it.

Song of the Day:

"There are no shortcuts to any places worth going." -Beverly Sills

What's the Count Boys?

What an awesome weekend.  I don't think it could have gone much better.  Riot Fest 2010 rocked.  Thursday Lance, Eric, Dave, and I went to Red Oktoberfest at the Metro.  All the bands that played were kick ass and played great sets.  Brendan Kelly, the bassist and vocalist of the Lawrence Arms, started with a solo acoustic set.  Vultures United, The Brokedowns, The Copyrights, The Cobra Skulls followed with Propagandhi headlining.  All of these bands kick ass and I would highly recommend them.  Previously to this weekend I was never really into metal or hardcore but Propagandhi has changed that forever.

Friday we went to the show at the Congress theater.  The venue was really cool.  Spacious, lots of bars, and a trough for a urinal.  The acoustics however suck.  Despite that it was still a kick ass show.  The highlight of the night was by far The Lawrence Arms set.  They are definitely one of the top five bands in punk right now.  Most of their songs are about living life, taking shit as it comes, and getting messed up with your friends.  Very fitting for this weekend.

Saturday was Lance's birthday party.  Got to see his parents, Doug and Bonnie, and I drank a butt load of Russian Death Train AKA Riot Punch AKA Black Out Juice AKA Dat Purple Stuff Dat Mess You Up.  A lot of people ended up not being able to make it, which is regrettable, but the show went on nicely without them.  My favorite part of the night was when Lance was opening his presents from his parents.  Mrs. Barilow was watching and being active in it while Mr. Barilow was in the kitchen preparing the snacks and then eating the snacks.  Awesome. 

This weekend was probably the most fun punk rock weekend I've ever had.  I was not however the most punk punk rock weekend.  That would be the time Lance, Eric, and I went to a Loved Ones show, walked to Dairy Queen, ate Blizzards, and then went swimming at Lance's house because it was a million degrees that day.  So punk.

I managed to make it to the gym today and actually had a really good session.  My focus and intensity were on point.  I think it was because it was just me and there were no distractions.  Anyways here's what I did.

Power Clean and Jerk: 2x3 @ 200

Log Press: worked up to 170x6

Single Arm Row: 120x15

Shrugs: 3x15
w/
TRX Inverted Rows: 3x15

Bam.  Awesome weekend comes to a close.

Song of the Day:

"When you pack on mass you sacrifice flexibility, Charlie.  That's a fact." -Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Riot Fest Countdown

Bench: 245x2; 255x2; 265x2; 275x1

Dead Bench: 225x1x2; 275x1

I set the bar on the pins about 3 inches off my chest.  This is where I usually fail on a bench press.  I then drove the bar up to lockout.  Doing this erases any benefit that I would get from the stretch-shortening cycle.  I'm going to keep these in for a few weeks and see how my actual bench progresses.

Neutral Grip Chins: 3x8
w/
DB Bench: 3x15

Reverse Grip Pull Down: 3x15
w/
Rope Tricep Push Down: 3x12

Cable Scarecrows: 3x12
w/
Fat Bar Curl: 3x8

Tonight is the first night of two that Lance, Eric, Dave, and I will be attending Riot Fest.  Tonight is Red Oktoberfest with performances by bands on the Red Scare Label.  Propagandhi will be headlining.  It is going to be fucking awesome.  Much Riot Punch will be consumed.  I'm going to be going to the local skid row liquor store and picking up four bottles of Night Train and three or so jugs of Purple Drink.  Fuck Yes.

Song of the Day:

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." -George F. Burns

Tuesday

Squat: worked up to 475x2

Reverse Band Squat: 525x2; 585x2

Deadlift: 535x1

45` Back Extension: 3x10
w/
Glute Ham Hypers: 3x10

TRX Fallouts: 3x10

Put some butter and/or jam on me because I was toast after this one.  It felt good though.  Nothing felt overly heavy.  My back did get a little twinge in the lower left side on deadlifts.  Nothing to be concerned about, but I stayed conservative and shut it down at 535.

Tomorrow I'm going down to Illinois for the weekend.  Thursday and Friday night Lance, Eric, our friend Dave, and I are going to some concerts in the city and Saturday is Lance and Al's birthday bash in Mundelein.  Much Riot Punch is going to be consumed.  This one may get sloppy.

Song of the Day:

“Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying." -The Bible 

Sure Bible, whatever you say (sarcasm).

I'm On a Night Train!

Oh, Night Train. We've a long history you and I. I was first introduced to Night Train Express back in my sophomore year of college. I believe Lance saw it in the liquor store and bought it because of the Guns 'N' Roses song of the same name. The first few bottles all had dust on them because apparently the shit doesn't fly off the shelves. Night Train Express is produced and bottled by E&J Gallo. They try to disguise this fact by saying that it is produced by Night Train Limited. Why on earth would they not want to proudly proclaim godsend of a drink? I don't know.

Anyways, Night Train is popular among bums, transients, and dumb college kids alike due to it being cheap ($3.69 per bottle) and full of booze (17.5% alcohol per volume). This is a dangerous combo. So dangerous that some community groups in cities along the west coast have tried to get it pulled from the shelves in certain "Alcohol Impact Areas".

"Community groups in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, and Portland have urged makers of fortified wines such as Wild Irish Rose and E & J Gallo's Thunderbird and Night Train brands to pull their products from the shelves of liquor retailers in skid row areas. In Nashville, Tennessee, one liquor store owner told Nashville Business Journal reporter Julie Hinds that police warned him to stop selling his biggest selling product, Wild Irish Rose, because it encouraged homeless people to linger in the area."

—Janice Jorgensen, Encyclopedia of Consumer Brands: Consumable Products (1993), p. 492.

The problem of bum wines goes back to Prohibition and the Great Depression. Since fortified wines were still easy to procure they became a staple of skid-row drunks. In fact, the term wino came into use during these times to describe people who turned to cheap fortified wines to drown their sorrows.

Poor little guy never stood a chance with a mean wine like that.


According to bumwine.com Ernest and his brothers Julio and Joe wanted to corner the young wine market by selling Night Train and Thunderbird it in the ghettos. They even had radio ads that were very clearly marketed to "those people." "What's the word? / Thunderbird / How's it sold? / Good and cold / What's the jive? / Bird's alive / What's the price? / Thirty twice." They aren't even trying to hide it. They know exactly who they want to get hooked it.

Here is a list of highlights from our Night Train binges in college:

• Eric once bonged an entire bottle and proceeded to break his arm later in the night. He had no recollection the next day.
• I once drank two bottles and played air drums for three hours at a Motley Crue concert. On the way to the concert I threatened to kill someone who said the N-word.
• One time Lance wasn't sure if he was going to drink one night due to a lack of funds. He scrounged the exact change for one bottle of Night Train. Fate my friends.
• After drinking a bottle of Night Train John Shelley laid in a bed for four hours that had been peed on by a female acquaintance because he was in no condition to deal with the situation.
• During a night of Night Train consumption Lance became extremely emotional for no reason crying, "I'm crying and I'm not even sad!"  Edit: That same night Lance tried to push Timmy down a flight of stairs.
• Everything that happened last night.

I'm not going to lie, this list is kind of hard to put together due to the fact that I rarely remember much of the previous night when I drink Night Train. A fitting way to end this post is with a quote from Lance that perfectly sums up what Night Train is all about; "That shit'll get in your veins and fuck up your life."

Sources:
http://www.bumwine.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low-end_fortified_wine

http://www.cracked.com/article_16314_nectar-broke-worlds-5-worst-ways-get-drunk.html

1 Part Vodka + 1 Part Night Train + 1 Part Grape Drink = Riot Punch

Homecoming weekend 2010.  Eric, Lance, and I got to Carroll at about noon on Saturday and wasted no time setting up shop.  We had two bottles of vodka, two bottles of Night Train wine, and two gallons of Grape Drink.  I started with a vodka grape drink, which is just grape flavored sugar water, or a poor man's Kool-Aid.  It didn't take too long for us to come up with the eventual riot punch concoction.  Needless to say we were fucked up in no time.  Shit, I didn't even make an attempt to go into the game.  To give you an example of how messed up we were towards the end of the night Eric just shut down trying to climb a fence.  After he got to the other side he tried to climb a small hill.  Al describes it like a child first learning to walk.  He fell yelling, "Oops!  Hit a slick spot!"  To get to his feet he basically walked his hands to his feet and pushed his ass in the air.  There was also some karaoke I kind of remember.  And some other stuff. 

It was a great day, I got to see some people I don't see too often, I drank a shitload of booze and I'm in one piece.  That's about all I could ask for.  Upcoming is going to be an article on Night Train.  Better stay off the tracks.

Song of the Day:

"Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy." -Henry Felding

Thursday

Deload continues.  Today was more of the same from Tuesday, only an upper body version.  Lighter weights, and lots of NWA and Public Enemy.

Bench: 185x5x3

TRX Rows: 4x10
w/
Dips: 4x10

Facepulls: 3x15
w/
Band Pushdowns: 3x15

Band Pull Aparts: 2x20

I'm feeling pretty good after this deload week.  Definitely ready to SFW next week.  Buuuuut first, this weekend is Carroll University's Homecoming.  The only alumni activities I will be partaking in is drinking in the parking lot, pissing in the art building, and getting sauced at the bars.  I'm also hoping to see a lot of friends I don't see on a regular basis.  It's going to be magical.  Shit, I might even try to get my hands on a bottle of Night Train for old time's sake.

Song of the Day:

"That Night Train is a mean wine." -Blues Brothers