Monday, February 28, 2011

Monday

Fat Bar Bench: 225x5, 255x5,5

Single Arm Row: Hundy's for 3x12

Conditioning:
650 lb tire x 3 flips
w/
Prowler: 140 lbsx25 yards

Allx3

Going to ease back into lifting.  I didn't want to go too heavy or get crazy with volume.  Just hit some big exercises and called it a day.

I can't begin to tell you how out of conditioning shape I am.  Those three sets of conditioning about killed me.  I've still got a little fire left in my lungs from it.  No where to go but up, I guess.

Song of the Day:

"When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength." -Arnold Schwarzenegger

Sunday, February 27, 2011

COF Trip 2K11

I just got back from the Circle of Friend's 14th annual trip to Wausau.  In case you are unaware this is a trip for kids who have been touched by cancer at a young age.  Some are still in treatment, some are in remission, all of them get to go to Wisconsin in the winter and have some fun in the snow. 

The trip is the brain child of Jerry Wunsch who is from the Wausau area, played football at Wisconsin in college, and Tampa Bay and Seattle in the NFL.  His cousin, Missy, got diagnosed with cancer while she was pregnant with her second child.  She had to chose between receiving treatment and losing her child or keeping the baby and foregoing treatment until after the baby was born.  She chose the second and ended up passing away a short while after the baby was born.  Ever since then Jerry and all of the wonderful people who make the trip happen have been sponsoring kids to come on the trip.


Jerry as a Badger.  The man loves his crossbars.

Everyone met in Green Bay and had lunch at Kroll's.  They make little pieces of paradise known as butter burgers to everyone else.  Seriously, if you're ever in Green Bay Kroll's is the place to get some fried dead cow slapped onto a roll.  We then made our way over to Lambeau field where the kids got to run around on the field and walk around and take pictures in the locker room.  Then, in a surprise even to me we all got to get our picture taken with the Lombardi Trophy.  I was happier than a pig in poop.

Some fine looking people doing the Lambeau Leap.

They should make an Indiana Jones movie about recovering a lost/stolen Lombardi Trophy with magical powers.  But if there's aliens in it then screw it.


Thursday we went to the Granite Peak Ski Area for some downhill skiing.  It was really cute to see all the kids in their ski gear.  Many of whom had never skied before.  Everyone tried it, not everyone liked it, but at least they tried.  I stayed on the White Bunny Hill for a bit.  After a few goes and figuring out how to turn without tearing every piece of sinew in my knee I made my way to the Double White Bunny for a few runs.  Then I got brave (stupid) and went to the top of the mountain.  I didn't realize the only runs that go down from there have black shapes next to the names like Hawk's Ridge, Timber Wolf, and Ply's Surprise.  I did a lot of pizzaing and falling down those runs.  It was still really fun and hopefully I'll be a bit better next year.


You can't read the names but trust me, they're hard as hell.

Thursday night we had a bonfire at the J&K Farm which is owned/run by Jenny and Kevin Anklam.  The kids got to eat Pudgey Pies, Smore's, and hot dogs.  A massive snowball fight then ensued.  One of my young charges, Jace, had a tough time keeping the snow on the outside of his coat.  The snow melted, he got cold, hopefully lesson learned.  That's what it's all about.

Friday was tubing at Sylvan Hills.  This is usually my favorite part of the trip.  The players, counselors, and kids tie up into groups of usually 2-6 to increase weight and thus speed down the hill.  In years past sometimes the weight and the subsequent speed were a bit to much and some people went over the top of the slowdown hill and the bottom.  This year there was enough of a wood chip barrier that no one was in any danger.  In that light we had the idea to set some Circle of Friends PRs.  We managed to get 20 people linked together and go down the hill.  New Circle of Friends record.  Mark it twenty, Dude.

Friday night we disco bowled at Dale's Weston Lanes.  It's been my pleasure to beat up on some of the older counselors in bowling in trips past.  Sadly, this year my winning streak was snapped at the hands of Lou.  He bested me two games to one.  Although, his last game he bowled an all-time best 170 as Jayne on the scoreboard.  I could protest to the governing body but I think I'll let the baby have his bottle on this one.

Saturday we all went to a local snowmobile club for some snowmobiling and some awesome food.  The snowmobiles are impressive machines to say the least, but the food is phenomenal.  Chili, chicken noodle soup, all kinds of desserts, and a puppet show for the kids.  I ate myself into a sugar coma and just sat back and enjoyed the show.  But seriously, I think this trip has made me pre-diabetic.  Sugary, fatty food + me with little to no self control because I'm on vacation and there are no other options = Heart problems in the coming months.

Saturday night we had dinner, dancing, and karaoke at the Pinewood Supper Club.  Food?  Dancing?  Karaoke?  Now you're talking my language.  The roast beef was great, I cut a rug (for me anyways), and Neil Diamond made a surprise appearance.  Great end to a great trip.

In the end I am extremely grateful to all of the people who helped make this trip happen.  From the organizers, to Jerry, Bill Schroeder, and Austin King who allow me to be a part of this wonderful family, to the people of Wausau who open themselves up to us every year, to my fellow chaperons, especially the ebony to my ivory and the pepper to my salt Johnny Young, and to all the kids who show me what life and living is all about.  I've learned a lot over these past couple of days.  This includes but is not limited to the following:
  • I'm better at skiing than I thought.  Not good, but adequate.
  • Despite my best attempts to resist I love foods with sugar.
  • There are still people in this world who are nice, genuine, and selfless without asking for anything in return except for maybe a "Thank you" and a hug.
  • "Sweet Caroline" is a can't miss karaoke hit.  
  • Watching kids interact with the world shows that we lose our ability or learn to not love unconditionally as we get older.  All is not lost as there are adults who are also capable of this.
  • My worst day is better than some people's best day.  I gotta keep things in perspective.
  • Some people would kill to be able to walk up a flight of stairs or carry a suitcase or a sleeping child.  Use your physical capabilities to best of you ability.
  •  Nurses make the world go 'round.
Thank you again to all of the people who made this trip possible and who allow me to be a part of it.  You have touched my life more than you will ever know.

Song of the Day:

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Deloading...Hard

I'm not going to lie.  I feel like a bag of smashed assholes right now.  My body hurts, my head isn't in the right place, I'm anxious for no reason, I have zero motivation to train, and I'm right where I want to be. 

I knew I was going to be taking this week off to go to Wausau for the Circle of Friends 2011 Winter Trip.  I pushed myself hard in the gym four or five days per week and ate in a caloric deficit for a good month.  It was only a matter of time until I came to this point.  Also, on Saturday, to say I "over-indulged" would be putting it lightly.  This I feel was the straw that broke the camel's back.  My recovery system had been pushed to it's breaking point in a less-than-sterling way and now I'm paying the price for it. 

I'm looking forward to getting away from training for a few days, eat a bunch of food, and not have too much to worry about.  I'll be back sometime on Sunday with some info on where I'm going to be heading over the next few months training-wise.  Until then keep it right, tight, and in the light.

Song of the Day:

"Let us not forget the story of the Spanish prisoner.  For many years he was confined to his dungeon... One day it occurred to him to push on the door of his cell.  It was open; and it had never been locked." -Sir Winston Churchill

Monday, February 21, 2011

President's Day

Today is President's Day.  It is a celebration of both George Washington's and Abraham Lincoln's birthdays.  To mark the day here are some facts about some of our more badass Presidents.

James K. Polk survived a gallstone operation at the age of 17 before the advent of anesthetics and antiseptics.

Bill Taft was so swole that he once got stuck in the White House bathtub.

Washington only had one tooth at the time of his inauguration.

Theodore declared war with Spain even though he had no authority to do so.  He then went to Cuba and busted so many Spanish scrotes that he received the Medal of Honor.

Teddy also used to box with visiting politicians in the White House.
"Bully!"

Andrew Jackson is the only President to have been a prisoner of war.

In a duel with Charles Dickinson Jackson let Dickinson shoot him first so that he would have more time to aim.  He then said, "Tell that motherfucker goodnight" to everyone around him and shot Dickinson through the throat.  The shot was so close to Jackson's heart it couldn't be removed.
You're done son.

There were two misfires on two guns during an assassination attempt on Jackson in the White House.  He then proceeded to whip the guys ass with his cane.  He stopped only when members of Congress restrained him.

Zachary Taylor was a 40 year army veteran who got elected to the Presidency even though he didn't really care about politics.  He was nominated by the Whigs who thought he could be a puppet president.  When they tried telling him what to do he told them to fuck right off.  He went against many core Whig principles and told everyone that if they didn't like it that was just tough titties.
Zachary Taylor appears to be boiling in Rage-a-Hol.

JFK swam four hours to safety with an injured crew mate in a life jacket that he held with his teeth.

JFK more than likely snagged more tail while in office than any other president.

John Quincy Adams kept a pet alligator in the East Wing of the White House.

And now, the most badass presidential fact of all time:
During his funeral Andrew Jackson's pet parrot had to be removed from the church because it wouldn't stop swearing.

This song is based entirely on fact.

Song of the Day:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not sure if you are aware but I have just been shot.  But it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."

Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday

Cambered Bar Squat: up to 445x3

Buffalo Bar: 3x10

RDLs: 3x8

We got some new toys at work this week.  I popped the shit out of the new cambered and buffalo bar's cherries.  Here are a few pics.
Buffalo Bar

Le` Cambered Bar.  French for: The Cambered Bar

The purpose of the cambered bar is to put the weight further out in front of where it normally would be.  This really loads your ass and hips.  The buffalo bar does the same thing, but to a lesser degree.  It is also a bit easier to grab the bar for those with tight shoulders.  They will never replace the good ol' straight bar squat.  They are just a few more weapons in the arsenal.  They will be fired at various intervals.  That I know for sure.

Song of the Day:

"The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thursday

Snatch: 196x1

Snatch High Pulls: up to 286x1x2

BTN Push Press: 205x1x3

Chins: 40 reps with 25 lbs

Triceps: 3 sets

Jump Rope: 500 turns

Snatches felt really good today.  I haven't snatched even close to 196 in a while now.  My PR in the lift is 201 and that was at a heavier body weight.

I'm pretty excited about this weekend.  Eric is coming up to train on Saturday.  Him and Lance and another guy we know are doing a meet in Dubuque in two weeks.  This their first meet.  I'll be going to handle them and make sure they only need to focus on lifting.  After training I know Hooter's was being thrown around and I don't think any red-blooded American can turn that down.  Speaking of which, my sister told me about a dream she had where I painted my house red, white, and blue.  I then got mad because the paint started to peel right away.  The paint must have been made in China.  Apparently those colors do, in fact, run. 

Speaking of patriotism, President's Day is on Monday.  Be ready for some badass presidential trivia.

Song of the Day:

"Control against the impostures of pretended patriotism." -George Washington

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Jersey Shore and the De-Evolution of America

I'm going to preface this post by saying there are a lot of underlying issues that could and probably should be brought up and talked about.  I'm going to save those for later.

In my estimation the guy who created the show Jersey Shore is a genius.  He ranks right up there with the guys who invented the pet rock and Silly Bandz.  These people make/made millions of dollars with little to no effort.  I imagine the pitch meeting for Jersey Shore went a lot like this:

Creator: I've got a great idea for a show.  We'll take a bunch of uneducated, ignorant, mouth-breathing Italian/Americans, who are probably a more accurate caracature of Americans than you or I would like to admit, from the New Jersey area and we'll put them in a summer rental on the, wait for it...Jer-sey Shore! with no responsibilities, plenty of alcohol, and a bunch of psuedo story lines.  The unwashed, uneducated, ignorant, mouth-breathing masses of America will eat this shit up.  They'll adopt their catch phrases.  The memes from the show will spread like wild fire.  If we could make money off of the rise in fist pumping that is going to occur we'd never have to work again.  The potential is huge!

MTV Executive: You've got my attention.  You've got five minutes to tell me more.

Creator: Now I know what you are thinking.  "This will never work.  Americans are too smart to get caught up in the petty problems of some over privlaged twenty-somethings from the east coast."  Well I've done the research.  It turns out Americans are that dumb.  52% of Americans don't understand the concept that the Earth goes around the sun!  It's almost not even fair.  I'm telling you, people love pop culture and they love people who are famous for being famous.  Look at Paris Hilton.  Brings absolutely jack shit to the table yet she's on tv every-fucking-day!  These clowns will bring even less to the table except for the huge gobs of cash you and I will be raking in.

MTV Executive: You've got yourself a goddam deal.

And with that the Jersey Shore era was ushered in.  I already know what a lot of you wil say.  "It's like a train wreck! You can't not look."  I say, "Fuck.  That.  Shit."  Jersey Shore is a lot like a train wreck, a train that everybody is riding.  It is the perfect microcosm of the degeneration and de-evolution of America.  These people (yes, these people) are now looked at as role models and as the ideal.  My blood pressure goes through the roof thinking about the fact that right now there are millions of people who hope in their heart of hearts that one day they will be just like them.  Famous, tv show, party all the time, orange tan, dragons and crosses and angel's wings in silver or gold on every piece of clothing they own.

I've heard tell that some of them make $10,000 to show up and party at clubs.  Ten grand just to show up and drink?  I'm not going to sit here and say the usual cliche about paying cops and teachers more, but fuck me running that's a lot of money just to party.  I've also heard the short, fat one is a best selling author.  What could her book possibly be about?  How to get famous by being neither in-shape, pretty, smart, or funny?

There in lies the problem.  Club owners don't pay that so people don't show up and spend money at their club.  People don't buy books from author's who more than likely don't have anything useful to say (unless you bought Glen Beck's book.  Then you are probably a fascist).  These things happen because the average American let's it happen, wants it to happen, needs it to happen. 

I would bet dollars to doughnuts that the people that bought that book haven't read another in the last year.  I bet people that brag about being at a club with this person or that hasn't actually done an interesting thing in that same time span.  The fact of the matter is that most people go through life without learning a fucking thing.  They aren't at all inquisitive about their environment or the events that transpired to them actually being on this earth.  Most haven't done anything remotely interesting. 

We want money, but don't want to work for it.  We want to be entertained but don't want to follow a plot line that a four-year-old couldn't handle.  We don't want to deal with our own problems, we want to get lost in someone else's by watching "reality" tv.  We want to live in a fantasy land where everything works out, we're friends with all the right people, and we all go to heaven in the end.  Sorry Charlie shit doesn't happen that way. 

I know it's just some stupid tv show, but it's rapidly becoming a better representaion of America than anyone would like to admit.  Pretty soon we're all going to have room temperature IQs.  Pretty soon we're all going to wear Ed Hardy and have an orange spray tan.  I, however, will not go quietly into that dark night.  I hope you'll do the same.  Turn off the tv, pick up a book, and for fuck's sake, live your own life to it's fullest.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tuesday

Cleans: 264x1x5

Front Squat: up to 295x1

Quick session down at Nitro's.  Front squats kept getting interupted by nature calling.  My front squat is pretty weak right now so it probably wouldn't have mattered.

Cleans didn't feel all that great.  I think I'm losing focus in the middle of my second pull and I'm pussing out on catching it at the bottom.  Nothing serious, just some mental and technique stuff to work out.

In other news Saxon ate a pound of frozen chicken that I had sitting out to thaw.  I wanted to get mad but the staute of limitations had run out.  I was in the shower at the time of the eating.

Song of the Day:

“People on the righteous path always progress, while people who are ignorant always falter and regress." -Rig Veda

Monday, February 14, 2011

Monday

Fat Bar Bench: 285x2 (PR) 295x1.5 (needed help on the second one)

Pendlay Rows: 4x5

Carry Medley

165 lb Keg x 75 feet

Run x 75 feet

Sand Bag x 75 feet

Run x 75 feet

190 lb Farmer's Carry x 75

all x 2

Stone Picks: 240 x 3,2,1 280 x 1,1,1

I was really happy with today.  Bench numbers keep moving up which I like.  The Pendlay rows I'm really starting to dig.  The strongman stuff felt pretty good.  I got pretty winded after the two rounds on the carry medley, though.  Hopefully my lungs start coming back.
 
It's Valentine's Day today.  I hope all you lovers out there did something special with your sweetheart.  I'll probably make Saxon my Valentine and give him a piece of bacon or something.  You know, let him know I care.

This was the most romantic song I could find.

Song of the Day:

"I choo-choo choose you!" -Valentine's Day card given to Ralph Wiggum by Lisa Simpson (it had a picture of a train on it).

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Saturday

Block Snatch: a few singles with some baby weights (seriously, heaviest was like 150)

BTN Push Jerk w/ Snatch Grip: 185x1, 205x1, 225x1

Pendlay Rows: 3x5

I'm not so much switching gears with my training, but trying to become a more well rounded strength athlete.  I've been watching some videos on Mikhail Koklyaev and I am amazed at what he can do.  He has been to the Olympics in weightlifting, is one of the strongest raw powerlifters in the world and is a very competitive professional strongman.  As such I'm going to start doing a bit more Olympic style weightlifting and probably adding some more strongman into my training sessions.

It's been literally years since I've done block snatches.  And it showed.  My technique felt awkward, my shoulders were killing me from the outset, and to anyone with a trained eye it looked like I very little idea what I was doing.  I'm ok with that though.  Some Chinese guy once said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  I think I got my toes over the starting line today.  With repetition comes ease.  Biomechanically my body isn't used to the positions snatching puts it in.  My shoulders are weak with a wide grip on the bar and my right IT flares up when I do an overhead squat (and any squat lately).  My body just needs time to adapt to the stressors this lift puts on it. 

That was my reasoning behind the Behind The Neck Push Jerks.  I can feel that heavier weight at the top of the movement without actually having to do an actual snatch to get it there.  The Pendlay Rows are a version of a bent over row.  Each rep is started with the bar resting on the ground.  This forces the erectors of the thoracic spine to contract forcefully to keep the upper body rigid during the pull.  I'd never done them before and wanted to try them.  I think I may like them. 

Song of the Day:

“My earliest memory is shouting: at what and for what reason, I don't know. Probably a tantrum; or I may have been rehearsing. I was always an early starter.” -Lemmy Kilmister (lead singer and bassist of Motorhead)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday

Cleans: 284x1, missed 294 four times (good pull, just need to catch it)

Fat Bar Push Press: 213x1, 223x1, 233x1, 183x5x3

Fat Rope Chins: 4x5

Face Pulls: 3x15
w/
Dips: 3x12

DB Scarecrows: 3x12
w/
Hammer Curls: 3x6

Now that I actually look at this this is a lot of volume for me.  I think I get mad when I miss lifts and try to make up for it in accessory lifts.  This is not always the best way to go about things.  If you are just doing it out of spite it's dumb.  If you recognize a weakness and work to address it, then you are making progress.  I think my problem on cleans is setting and keeping my upper back tight and then not collapsing when the bar comes to my shoulders.  The first one I addressed with the upper back stuff.  The second one is probably going to take some heavy front squats to remedy.

As far as the push press, and pressing in general, goes I just need to do it more.  My technique goes out the window when I get tired and I miss lifts that I could maybe have gotten.  Just need to cowgirl up and I'll be fine.

Song of the Day:

"The most essential factor is persistence - the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come." -James Whitcomb Riley

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thursday

Snatch High Pull: bunch of singles

Squat: 405x1, 445x1, 495x1, 515x1, 535x1 (high), 265x10, 315x10,10

Reverse Hyper: 4x10
w/
Shrugs: 4x10

The last heavy single pissed me off.  I didn't sit back and goodmorninged it down.  I just need to trust myself.  After that my Rage-a-Hol levels were elevated so I did a few sets of ten to work some of it off.  Having a dog that loves me by my side helps as well.

Here's my favorite song from one of the top 10 best rap albums of all time.

Song of the Day:

"What we ever hope to do with ease, we must first do with diligence." -Samuel Johnson

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tuesday

Had some unexpected Rage-a-Hol sneak into my system today.  Wasn't expecting to take some, but there it was.  I think it was a combo of coffee, punk rock, and some aggessive driving by me that got it in there.  Once it's in, it ain't coming out.  No choice but to use it to its fullest extent.

Fat Bar Bench: up to 275x3 (PR, maybe) 225x10,10

Fat Gripz Single Arm DB Shoulder Press: 80x3, 90x1, 100x1 on the right 0 on the left

Pull Ups: 6,6,5,4,3,2,1

Face Pulls: 3x12
w/
Fat Bar Curls: 3x8

Felt awesome after this session.  I was used up but not dead like I sometimes am.  I'm getting stronger and I feel like I'm putting on some size as well.  I'm not going to complain about that.

Song of the Day:

"With self-discipline most anything is possible." -Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday

With the Packer's Super Bowl win still fresh in my mind and my muscles full of glycogen and beer I went in with a real zest for training today.

Pin Squats: up to 545x1 with a :10s hold at the top

Moved the pin down one notch.  This one was tough but I feel confident that I could squat 550 right now.

Squat: 295x20

These aren't getting any easier

RDLs: 4x5

Glute Ham: 2x12
w/
Abs

Song of the Day:

"You've got to get up every morning with determination if you are going to go to bed with satisfaction." -George Lorimer

I'm A Rage-a-Holic...

...I'm addicted to rage-a-hol.

I've invented a new pre-workout supplement.  It's actually been around for a long time, just no one thought to market it as an actual supplement.  It's called Rage-a-Hol.  The best part about it is that it is essentially free and you can make it in the comfort of your own home.  Here's how I make my special blend. 

Make some black-as-Satan's-soul coffee, listen to playlist of Anti-Flag, Cancer Bats, Gallows, Mastadon, Motorhead, Paint It Black, and Slayer, watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISOhGcVPcLw, read a few articles on http://www.badassoftheweek.com/,  Google "Jersey Shore", and think about all the things that make you shake your head at the human condition and boom!  You've got pure rage-a-hol coursing through those veins.  Once I had a bunch of Rage-a-Hol all up in me I headed down to Nitro's to destroy some weights.

Power Cleans: 7x3 @ 220, 3x3 @ 240

I needed a little extra of the last ingredient in Rage-a-Hol to power me through the last set.  But other than that...money.

Single Arm Row: 8, 3x6

Push Ups: 3x20
w/
Hammer Curls: 3x10

Oh, in case you missed it, THE PACKERS WON THE SUPER BOWL!  I am so excited that my nipples have been erect for what seems like days now.  I don't care who made what mistakes or who made what big plays or who pissed the game away for their team by throwing two big interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown.  I'll leave the pontificating and the punditry to the talking heads.  All I care about is that the Packers are World Champions.  I got to watch the game with a bunch of Bears fans and it was funny watching them not wanting to root for the Packers but also not wanting to root for sexual assault and cheap shots.  But that doesn't matter because the Packers won the Super Bowl.  And the Bears didn't.

Song of the Day:

“I have been wounded but not yet slain. I shall lie here and bleed awhile. Then I shall rise and fight again. The title of champion may from time to time fall to others more than ourselves. But the heart, the spirit, and the soul of champions remains in Green Bay.” -Vince Lombardi

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Thursday and Friday

Thursday

Squats: 405x2, 455x2,2, 475x2

Pause Squats: 315x3, 365x3, 405x3

Glute Ham w/ Orange Band: 3x10
w/
Cable Crunches: 3x12

Friday

High Incline Press: up to 195x3

Bench: 3x6 @ 225

Bent Rows: 3x8

It's kind of a sad yet relieved time around these parts.  My grandmother, Beverly Dequaine, passed away Thursday night after battling Alzheimer's Disease for many years.  I definitely see a lot of my grandmother in my dad which in turn puts some of my grandmother in me. 

Grandma Bev to me was this tough Bavarian broad who didn't take any shit from anyone.  She could drink my dad under the table, was not afraid to reprimand her grandkids, ate sugary stuff like she got paid to do it, and did it all while only weighing about 105 lbs. and not having the use of the right side of her body.

When she was about 15 she was holding a pen in her mouth.  This wasn't some ball-point dime-a-dozen pen.  No, this type of pen probably wouldn't be allowed on airplanes today due to it's ability to stab the shit out of anything.  While holding the pen in her mouth she fell off of the porch she was standing on and the business end of the pen went through the back of her neck and mess up some nerves.  Ever since she's walked with a noticeable limp and her hand has been clenched, much in the same manner as Bob Dole.

This little mishap however didn't stop her from marrying a badass dude in his own right, my grandpa, raising three kids, and helping raise five grandkids and at most recent count five great-grandkids.  Damn.

I also blame my grandma for my portliness as a kid.  My sister and my cousins would go there during the summers while our parents were at work, so she would feed us during the day.  For breakfast it was a lot of Frosted Flakes or Wheaties or Corn Flakes, always with a bunch of extra sugar.  Usually there was some cantaloupe as well, of course there was extra sugar.  If you had room there were plenty of doughnuts and other pastries to fill in the cracks.  For lunch, grilled cheeses were the main delicacy.  Dessert was either some Little Debbies or some Macaroons.  Solid nutritional practices as you can see.  But that was the way she showed her love.  She made food.  I'm not upset, I loved going over there.  And she always made good on it by saying, "Have you lost weight?  You look taller." anytime we hadn't seen each other in a while.  That always sent me soaring.  She knew all the right strings to play.

Now that she's gone and I've been thinking about her a lot I've been remembering a lot of great times with her.  I'm sad that she's gone, but these memories will stay with me forever.  Even though she hasn't really been the same the last couple of years I'll always remember how she was when I was a kid.  Love you grandma.

"Let's just split one(a beer)." -Grandma Bev to my dad as she proceeds to drink his ass under the table.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Snow Day Part Deux

Just a quick session down in Nitro's today.  Kind of an off day/just-want-to-do-something-since-I'm-not-going-to-do-anything-else- today day.

Barbell Shrugs: 6x8
w/
Barbell Curls: 6x3

Standing Calf Raises: 3x8
w/
Weighted Sit Ups: 3x10

This took me about 30 minutes.  In, out, back upstairs with the dog.

Song of the Day:

"Don't accuse nature, she has fulfilled her task; you must fulfill yours." -John Milton

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

People I Want To Get Sauced With- Vol. 1 Winston Churchill

When I was a freshman in high school my civics teacher asked the class, "Who would you rather have as a leader, a man who drinks every day and tells important people of the day to get fucked, or a guy who loves art, never drinks, and is liked by all who meet him?"  Of course all of us sheep in the class picked the latter instead of the former.  Well as it turns out the former was Winston Churchill and the latter was Hitler.  Oops.


My kind of leader.  Tommy Gun, check.  Huge cigar, check.  Pimped out pin stripe suit complete with bowtie, check.  Funny looking yet awesome hat that probably has a huge knife in it somewhere, double check.

That's the kind of importance we put on shit that doesn't matter two fucking shits in the grand scheme of things.  Churchill loved booze and still rallied the British Empire to withstand the Nazi barrage during the Battle of Britain and totally flash Nazi Germany their wieners a la William Wallace and the Scots in Braveheart.  Hitler on the other hand proved himself to be a slack-jawed faggot and kill himself at the end of WWII.  Fucking quitter.


Take that Hitler.

Before Churchill became Supreme Commander of all things British he graduated from the Royal Military Academy where he was the school's fencing champion and a star polo player.  Not too bad since those were the days when the recommended means of killing a foe were either cutting his shit to pieces with something sharp and/or pointy or trampling him under foot while Iron Maiden's The Trooper played in the background.  After graduating he was a 2nd Lieutenant in the 4th Queens Own Hussars.  This was a calvary regiment that was ordered to ride around and hoof stomp any motherfucker that thought it a good idea to fuck with the crown.  In his mean time he worked as a war correspondent.  In those days they weren't lame-dick douches with microphones and flak jackets that won Emmy's just for being there.  No, these guys went out, slaughtered some fucks with their bare hands, went back to their tent, wrote about it, and then sent it back home to get printed the next day.  These guys were balls-deep in the shit.

During WWI it was speculated that he went to the front lines just so that he could drink booze.  A close friend said, “Hard liquor was prohibited at Battalion HQ… and only sweet tea provided, a beverage by no means to Winston’s taste.”  After a few years of bombing and running through ten enemy combatants with funny hats at a time he went into politics.  At this time the PM of GB was Neville Chamberlain.  In case you don't know, this was the guy who sold appeasment to the rest of Europe.  This was the guy that let the Nazis fist fuck Europe like it was some used-goods donkey-show hooker.  In other words the guy was a no balls pussy.

Churchill was not all about that and he set about setting shit straight.  He gave the British people pump up speeches that would put anything in Varsity Blues, Friday Night Lights, Little Giants, and Rudy to shame.  He wanted to see the Reichstag burned to the ground.  He wanted to personally steel-toe-boot kick Hitler in his balls in front of Eva Braun.  Then he would ravage her while Hitler watched sobbing in the corner, then call in an air strike and run like a mad man just in front of the bombing raid on Berlin, leaping at just the right moment into the Rhine and avoiding the flames.  That's a little extreme, but I wouldn't put it past him.  Motherfucker was not one to fuck with.  Anyways, druing his Prime Ministorship (?) he loved cigars, brandy, champagne, and telling the truth.  One brief, yet entirely famous, encounter:

Lady Astor: "You, Mr. Churchill, are drunk."

Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly.  But I shall be sober in the morning."

Double fucking swish for the big guy.  If a dude who has killed a shit ton of people in the service of his country wants to get his drink on, let him.  I've got no problem with that.  Obviously this is a different time and it doesn't give anyone the right to be abusive to anybody, but let the dude unwind.  His resolve to rid the world of fascism goes beyond this world.  "If Hitler were to invade Hell, I should find occasion to make a favorable reference to the Devil."  Bad-fucking-ass.  He was definitely one dude I could take a few pointers from.

Sources:
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/winstonchurchill.html
http://www.explainthatstuff.com/winstonchurchill.html

Tuesday

Due to the impending Snowmageddon/Storm O' the Century I had a snow day from work and trained at Nitro St. Justice's Barbell Club and Gentleman's Lounge.  Joe, Matt, and Lance were also in attendance.  It had an awesome old school, dungeon feel.  Just some dudes and some iron.  We could feel our test levels rising just from being down there.  I think it's funny that this storm is being called the storm of the century when the century is only ten years old.  Some people just want to scare old people I guess.

Bench: 295x1, 275x2,2,2, 225x10

Bent Row: 4x5

Band Tri Push Downs: 3x20

Reverse Curls: 3x10

The bar felt just a tad weird in my hands since I've been using a fat bar for most of my upper body movements.  Either way 295 felt pretty fast and smooth.  My butt came up a bit but I still counted it.  One thing that I really need to work on with my bench is driving my heels down and getting some use out of my legs.  I have the bad habit of pushing my toes down which will lift my ass if I'm not careful.  Overcoming this just takes practice.

In other news, the week of Slayer continues.

Song of the Day:


"It is a well known fact that the majority of men today are relatively weak..." -George Hackenschmidt (He spoke this many decades ago but it is probably truer today than ever.  More on that to come.)